Talk To Me: I no longer find my husband attractive 

Psychologist Caroline Martin is here to answer your questions on whatever issues you are dealing with in life, from work pressure and stress to loneliness and grief

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I've been married for over 25 years and no longer find my husband attractive. He's put up weight and spends a lot of his spare time watching sports on TV. I miss the man I married - fit, funny and curious about life. I'm going through menopause which doesn't help.

When your email arrived, I was confronted with a 'sliding doors' moment, knowing I could jump on board the well-trodden medical narrative on hormones, HRT and implied deficit, or I could present an alternative. Our female body ebbs and flows and we become familiar with its pattern, managing it fastidiously during adolescence and when we yearn for a child. It can feel like a betrayal when it stops "behaving" and becomes a new life force.