Colman Noctor: Welcoming Ukrainian families with a smile, not a therapy session

The Ukrainian families who are arriving in our communities need simple acts of kindness, not trauma counselling  

Picture: iStock 

With hundreds of Ukrainian people, mainly women and children, arriving in Ireland every day, we need to be aware of what we can do as a society to help. More than 500 State-owned properties have been identified to potentially house refugees. According to Integration Minister Roderic O'Gorman, speaking on RTÉ radio last week, a further 4,500 people from Ukraine are being accommodated in hotels. 

These refugees will almost certainly have emotional and psychological needs too. Many will arrive with some degree of trauma due to what they have witnessed in their home country. Having to leave their homes under such abrupt circumstances will be traumatic in itself.

So, how can we help?

The generosity of the Irish people is known worldwide based on our track record of compassion, empathy and our 'céad míle fáilte'. Despite the changes to contemporary culture, Irish society still has strong values — we continue to support humanitarian efforts and have a deep sense of community and 'parish unity'. 

This sense of community is often evident at a rural funeral. We see communities rally around the grieving family, providing a manufacturing line of tea and sandwiches and local volunteers in hi-vis jackets directing car parking in a local field. But will this hospitality extend to non-local people?

Despite being known as a nation of 'talkers', much of our verbal skills surround 'the gift of the gab'. But do we have effective communication skills when discussing our feelings, emotions and uncomfortable topics?

The Ukrainian families who are arriving in our communities with high levels of trauma and perhaps limited proficiency in English will need a lot of support. The tea, sandwiches and friendly banter may not be enough.

A reliable, safe space

After experiencing trauma, what children need is a sense of safety. In psychotherapy, we describe this as 'containment', a reliable, safe space or relationship in which people can find solace and refuge free from threat. Having witnessed war and being forced to leave loved ones, fathers and brothers behind, the essential starting point is to help them feel safe.

The refugees' safety requirements need to be established first: a roof over their heads, food on the table, and the offer of support if they want or need it.

The second most important thing that people, especially children, need following an experience of trauma is structure. Anxiety is the fear of the unknown, so establishing as many 'knowns' as possible is one of the best ways to respond. A reliable structure such as school attendance should be of paramount importance.

The allocation of education places in primary and secondary schools has been identified in the low thousands. Education Minister Norma Foley has indicated this number has been 'moving upwards', with a greater capacity at primary level. 

Also, English languages classes are being planned to help Ukrainian children adapt to their new surroundings. It is crucial that these children have a containing and welcoming structure to help them feel safe and welcome. This will go a long way to supporting their challenging integration into their new surroundings.

Acknowledge children's trauma 

The next aspect of providing an optimal environment for traumatised children is to validate their experiences. This does not mean delving into their emotional world or providing in-depth psychological sessions. Instead, it may involve acknowledging the challenging aspects of their experience and accommodating the behavioural issues that may arise from these events.

Young children may have difficulty separating from their parents to attend school. Given the trauma of the initial separation from their home and community in recent weeks, they may fear that all separations from parental figures may result in a more permanent absence. 

These children will need to feel 'involved' and heard. This may be particularly challenging given the language barrier, but if we can put as many supports in place as possible, we will be able to understand and meet their needs. We need to be acutely aware of what these children have been through and try to meet them where they are at, as opposed to where we would like them to be. 

It is also vital that the parents of these children are encouraged to get involved with their communities. That more than 7,300 Ukrainians have already been issued with PPS numbers, of which 2,727 are children, is a good start and evidence of how quickly the civil service systems can respond when dealing with a crisis. 

Kindness more helpful than therapy

We might be tempted to set up immediate psychological supports, but the jury is out in the mental health field as to whether immediate critical incident debriefing is recommended or even advisable. 

The Cochrane Collaboration reviewed the research carried out after the fallout from events in the World Trade Center in 2001 and determined there was no evidence that psychological debriefing was effective and advised that compulsory debriefing of trauma victims should not be undertaken. They concluded that psychological debriefing might cause adverse effects.

So perhaps the best psychological support is not a referral to mental health services but instead providing experiences of kindness, belonging and care.

I am encouraged that the Department of Education is implementing significant resources, including the National Educational Psychological Service, which has focused on developing materials for schools to assist children of Ukrainian heritage and others who may be experiencing distress in relation to the ongoing war.

With many more than the current number of 7,000 Ukrainians expected to arrive in Ireland as the crisis worsens, we need to play to our strengths and do the simple things well. These families have been forced to leave their homes and communities by an oppressive regime, and we need to remind them of the kindness, humanity and hope that still exists in the world. Micro gestures, such as a friendly smile, a welcome embrace or an offer of help, can go a long way to help overcome trauma. 

These families cannot 'un-see what they have seen', but their distress can be diluted by opposing experiences, reassuring them that good still exists in the world and is far more prevalent than those determined to spread evil and tyranny.

My advice is to exercise and demonstrate our strengths as a community and a culture. If we open our arms and our doors to the children and families of Ukraine, we can be a beacon of hope and the kind, reassuring presence they most desperately need.