Sex File: His pillow talk is a turn-off

"There is no easy way to tell someone that the way he speaks about sex repulses you, but somehow, without hurting his feelings or making him feel stupid, you need to communicate that to your boyfriend"

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My new boyfriend is fantastic, a lot of fun - but he seems unable to discuss sex without using really weird, anachronistic language. He won't say 'have sex', for example - he says 'hanky panky' or 'rumpy pumpy'. Or he'll say, 'Let's be naughty.' He's 35, not 95. It's so unsexy.

When the Chilean-American author Isabel Allende said that "for women, the best aphrodisiacs are words", she definitely wasn't thinking of "rumpy pumpy" and "hanky panky". Everyone has quirks and eccentricities, but no one needs to use language like that to talk about sex. At 35 it's inexcusable. I'm impressed that you've been able to get past it to still have sex with him, as I'm sure it would have given lots of women "the ick".