Colman Noctor: Why let a tech company decide when your child is ready to own a smartphone?

Having a smartphone is not a right, it's a responsibility. Children must earn the right by showing they can act responsibly 

Picture: iStock 

Despite the digital age of consent in Ireland being 16 years of age, which incidentally is concerned with data sharing, there seems to be a belief that 12 or 13 years of age is the ‘appropriate’ age for children to have a smartphone. 

I have often wondered who decided this? And why is this age viewed as the right one?

My suspicion is this arbitrary age was decided upon by the mobile phone providers. An advertisement some years ago stated: ‘It’s hard to pick a confirmation name but it’s not hard to pick a new smart phone’. Another indicated that on your first day in secondary school your worries will be eased by having a phone. And, more recently, the Vodafone TV advert that shows a boy struggling at home because his younger sibling is getting lots of attention, but when his parents buy him a smartphone, all his problems disappear. 

I've yet to hear a parent say to me that buying their child a smartphone improved their communication or helped them to get closer to their child. On the contrary, I’ve heard many stories that suggest the opposite is true. I believe the purchase of a smartphone is far more likely to create a distance between you to your child than bring you closer.

Vying for our attention

The world of the internet and smart technology is largely unregulated. Interestingly, the absence of any regulation forms a core part of the ‘allure’ of the online world and is integral to its success - and a useful disclaimer. 

When tech companies are asked to act responsibly their defence is often that they operate as ‘a platform’ and so cannot be responsible for the actions of their users, neatly sidestepping accountability and culpability.

In many ways regulating usage is not in the financial interest of tech companies. The technological world competes in an ‘attention economy’, with each platform vying for our attention. The main dashboard of interest to a tech company is the amount of ‘time on screen’ spent by their users. 

The proportion of the attention economy a platform commands, directly relates to the amount they can charge for advertising revenue. So, technologies are designed to maximize ‘time on screen’. Even a one per cent increase in the market share of users’ attention is potentially worth billions of euros to the various app designers.

Think about the phrases that are used in terms of technology usage, ‘all you can eat data’, ‘unlimited’, ‘binge watch’. These terms celebrate excess and, in many ways, normalise it. But it’s not just in the advertising slogans, consider YouTube, for example, and its ‘autoplay the next video’ feature. If by using this feature, YouTube secures another few minutes of your attention it has succeeded in its mission of increasing users’ time on screen. These algorithms create the sinkholes and echo chambers that keep our eyes on the screen.

It is worth pointing out that there are no ethical frameworks underpinning these algorithms. There are no age verification checks, and the algorithms are driven by giving users what they want and not what they need. It seems feasible that if tech companies can build algorithms that hack our attention to stay on screen longer, they could also develop algorithms that prompt us to regulate our usage, but alas they are not as popular. 

There is no regulatory presence online to say, ‘you have had enough, it is time to stop’. Companies like Google and Apple are the town planners of an online village we all inhabit, but there is no ethical regulation built into this village. Because the online world gives us everything we want but nothing of what we need, there is a huge onus of responsibility on the user to say: ‘I have had enough, I need to stop now’.

Self-regulation is difficult

The most common question parents ask me is ‘When do I think is the right age to give a child a smartphone?’. My answer is always the same: ‘Within reason, it depends on the child’ By this I am referring to the child’s ability to self-regulate. Self-regulation is difficult, and not a skill that is easily mastered even into adulthood. In theory, our ability to self-regulate should improve as we get older as we learn to prioritise what's important,  but this is not a predictable trajectory. 

Most people would struggle to make the claim that their 12-year-old child is an effective self-regulator. This is not their fault, young people wanting to spend every hour of every day with their peers is not new. 

I grew up in the 1980s and my older sister wanted to spend almost every evening talking with her friends on the phone rather than with me, her other sister or our parents. But this was not what was permitted due to two regulators. The first being my mother who would tell her to get off the phone, and the second being the phone bill. I can still remember the fallout when the monthly phone bill would arrive - my sister would go missing for hours as my father went on the warpath. 

 If Snapchat or free unlimited WiFi existed in the '80s, I am sure that we would have spent very little time with my sister, as it's unlikely she would have ‘chosen’ to spend time with us over her friends. However, because of the regulation, we developed a good relationship with her. And it continues to this day.

A smartphone is a responsibility 

There are many ways in which we can prepare children for the online world. Exposure to media literacy and an awareness of the dangers of the online world can help. (The Irish Examiner publishes an excellent resource on Saturday, a booklet titled Alva’s World.) But the ideal point at which we should introduce our children to their own smart device is when they show an ability to self-regulate and recognise when they have had enough. 

Perhaps it is less about regulating content but more about learning to regulate human desire? The ability to decipher the difference between what we need and what they want demands a high level of cognitive function. Self-discipline is not what you would expect to find among the majority of 12 or 13 year olds.

I would encourage every parent to make the decision about smartphone ownership based on their knowledge of their child, and whether they believe they are ready to manage this unregulated portal to the outside world. I know 13 year olds who I would have no concerns about having a smart device. However, there are 17 year olds who I would have grave concerns about.

Having a smartphone is not a right, it is a responsibility. Remember, your child must earn the right by showing they can act responsibly. This is a better way of deciding when to give your child a smartphone rather than having a mobile phone company decide that for you.