Colman Noctor: Should I ask my three-year-old for their consent to post a picture of them online?
Those pics are cute - but think about their ramifications.
Sharing pictures of a family event, their first steps or a school achievement on social media is an easy way to connect with our wider community. But what are the long-term implications for the child who features in these posts?
The concept of sharing has changed in the last decade. Traditionally it meant dividing and distributing with someone else, but the concept of virtual ‘sharing’ is quite different. Now we share digital forms of media with our social network audience. Often the content (a link, a meme or a video) does not belong to us and so we are not required to give anything in the transaction. The concept of ownership is complex in the internet world because in cyberspace no one really ‘owns’ anything, so everyone has claim to everything. The benefit of this freedom is that it costs us nothing to share content, but the downside is that as soon as we share content, we surrender our ownership of it.
In general, it’s wise to assume if there is no obvious product for sale, then you must assume that you, the user, are the product.
Data is fast becoming a very lucrative resource. Recent news stories of ‘HSE cyber-hacking’ and ‘blackmailed data sales’ have brought these issues to the fore. We are repeatedly reminded of General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), and encouraged to choose strong passwords, to employ dual verification systems and to do what we can to protect our personal data. But what qualifies as personal data? Surely some images of your child winning medals at their primary school sports day do not qualify as sensitive data. What would cyber-hackers want with these images? The grim reality is there are many possible uses for this material.
There are wider legal and ethical debates going on across the globe on the extent to which children can consent to their data/ information being shared online by their parents and guardians, and whether they have some right to the protection of their digital footprint.
In 2018 the digital age of consent in Ireland was agreed to be set at 16 years of age. This was the age at which children were deemed capable of sharing their data with online organisations and companies. There was much-heated debate when this was being discussed as some groups lobbied that it should be lower than 16 years, while others argued that it should be higher.
Both sides raised valid points, but like most technological debates, it boils down to whether your political leanings are towards rights or responsibilities.
Those with a rights-based focus will tend to say ‘we are where we are and need education and awareness, so let’s set the age of digital consent lower. Whereas those from the responsibilities-focused cohort will argue that ‘we cannot wait for that, and therefore prohibition and regulation are key right now, and so the age of consent should be higher.
My view is that both approaches miss the point. If we removed all the inappropriate material like pornography, cyber-bullying, gambling, sextortion, from the internet we would still have the 11 year old who spends nine hours a day watching cats on skateboards on YouTube. As parents, we need to have a more active role in promoting what our children do online, as opposed to focusing on how much time they spend on it.
The same principle applies when it comes to parents sharing their children’s data online. There is no correct and incorrect answer. It has nothing to do with whether you share or not, it is about what you share and why.
One of the most relevant regulations regarding children’s online digital footprint is the ‘right to be forgotten’ or the ‘right to erasure’ legislation which allows a person to ask an organisation to delete their personal information, or ask a search engine to remove links to content about them that is inadequate, irrelevant or excessive.
Children have special protection because they may be less aware of the risks of giving their information to organisations. Even if you are an adult, you have the right to have your data erased because it was collected from you when you were a child.
The legislation is important and necessary but does not replace a parent’s responsibility.
Before sharing images or information about your child, I suggest you consider the following question: Will your child will appreciate public access to this archival data when they are in the middle of an election campaign in years to come? We have seen how a leaked file or a misjudged tweet can signal the end of many high-flying careers so the caution that we must exercise around our online posting cannot be under estimated.
The debate then comes down to how we seek a child’s consent. Some commentators have said that they have asked their three year old for permission before posting an image of them on a social media platform, as a means of acquiring consent. But in reality what weight does that hold? In my opinion, this method of acquiring consent from a small child is nonsense.
I am a staunch advocate of hearing ‘the voice of the child’ but it must be in accordance with their developmental level. As parents and guardians, our role is to make decisions on our children’s behalf, with the expectation that we will get some of them right and some of them wrong. If we over-share information about our children’s lives online and later the child feels this was inappropriate, they need to be given the right to have it removed permanently from the digital record, in so far as this is possible.
I think the ‘spirit’ of our online behaviour is something that plays a crucial role in how we influence our children’s relationship with technology and online sharing. If you are a parent who uses an online social media platform as a family photo album documenting every event in your family’s life, then there is a likelihood these values will transmit to your children, and they will either adopt a similar approach of prolific online sharing or an opposite one where they avoid leaving any digital footprint.
Rather than getting bogged down in the legal, consent and privacy issues, we need to have a grasp of our motivations for sharing information about our children. As discussed in last week’s column, we share primarily to serve our needs, not our children’s. Therefore, we need to consider the cost of this short-term gratification to our children’s future privacy needs.
Much like we try to teach younger children about digital literacy, the same principles apply to parents. We need to be aware that we surrender ownership of all data once we post it publicly. With this in mind, I would encourage a fundamental philosophy of ‘pause before you post’. If you are happy for your child’s future employer to see it, or you are comfortable that these images will not be harvested and used for unsavoury purposes, then post it. If not, then take a moment to reconsider.
Remember it is not bad technology, it’s bad usage.
Ask yourself the following questions before you post an image of your child:
- Am I doing this for my child or for me?
- How much information about my child have I posted already and am I comfortable with this amount?
- How much does the reaction to my social network matter to me?
- Will this image or information negatively impact my child now or into the future?
- Will anybody be upset or feel under pressure from this post?
If you are happy with all your answers, then click ‘post’ and enjoy the validation and recognition that will undoubtedly follow.
The process of online sharing is not right or wrong, it is both. So, take control and agency over your choices. Be aware of the spirit, tone, and volume of your posts and make sure that you are the one who is in charge of how much is enough for you and your children. Be careful not to let the algorithm or the dopamine high of validation decide what you post.
- Dr Colman Noctor is a child psychotherapist. If you have a parenting question, please send it to feelgood@examiner.ie
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