Colm O'Regan: The Ulysses audiobook read by Jim Norton reminds me of Father Ted in parts — here's why 

The Ulysses audiobook is read by Jim Norton, one of Ireland’s finest actors, known for lots but also the receiver of one of the most meme-able kicks up the arse in cinematic history, as Bishop Brennan in Father Ted

Jim Norton, one of Ireland’s finest actors, known for being the receiver of one of the most meme-able kicks up the arse in cinematic history in Father Ted.

Ulysses. I was the biggest cliché in reading. The gentlest hint of dog-ears on the first 10 pages, but otherwise unbothered by buttery-toast fingers. The book prominently displayed but the spine clearly like a physio’s perfect model. And yet now, I am halfway through, baffled but enjoying it.

The secret: The audiobook! Grabbing a few minutes before falling asleep was never going to cut it for this phone-addled brain. But being trapped in the car with it for two hours works just fine. It is a book that was always meant to be heard.

The audiobook is read by Jim Norton, one of Ireland’s finest actors, known for lots but also the receiver of one of the most meme-able kicks up the arse in cinematic history, as Bishop Brennan in Father Ted.

And not to be a nob, but I detect another Father Ted connection: Listing lots of names.

On a couple of occasions in Ulysses, it’s just a list of unlikely names: “Cuchulin, Conn of hundred battles, Niall of nine hostages, Henry Joy M’Cracken, Goliath, the Village Blacksmith, the Man that Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo, the Man in the Gap, the Woman Who Didn’t, Caesar, Captain Nemo”.

It reminds me of Mrs Doyle’s list of priests as she tries to guess the name of the mysterious priest who comes to stay and steal the Golden Cleric Award. From Fr Andy Riley to Fr Hiroshima Twinkie to Fr Peewee Stairmaster before eventually landing on “Fr TODD UNCTIOUS!” (It’s a tradition that stretches back to Irish myths).

Jim Norton handles all of it. He does approximately a rake of voices and every single one is clear and distinct. Even the singing of songs. They’re always singing bits of songs and quoting bits of poetry and books in Ulysses.

It might sound affected now, as if James Joyce is showing off. But think of a time when there wasn’t a single film, TV show, joke from a stand-up you saw, meme, or viral moment to reference in everyday conversation. Of course, you’d be singing ditties.

By the way, audiobook creators: please test if you can hear them on the road. I have heard the best of actors reading, and whatever it is about their ribcage, or their resonance, or the specific frequency at which they project, it hums in perfect competition with an Avensis on the M8 near Urlingford.

You can’t make out a word. Norton cuts right through. I know this because most of my listening is on the road. What is it Joyce said again? “If the M50 was burned down you could construct it entirely from excerpts of AA RoadWatch.”

I’m about halfway through now. 

It’s a bit like the old joke about the person who read 'Hamlet' and complained it was full of clichés. 

Or the experience of finally watching Star Wars as an adult and suddenly understanding what approximately 65% of men over 40 have been on about for decades.

Listening to Ulysses, I find I recognise snatches of it. Names, phrases, pub names. The Bloomsday shenanigans that do be going on every June 16, with people in Edwardian dress eating and quaffing things.

I have 13 hours left. I do not fully know what is going on. But I don’t care — the Hiberno-English phrases, the accents, the smatterings of absolute filth tucked between the philosophy, the first published use of the word bollox, which deserves far more acknowledgement in our national curriculum than it currently receives.

When I finish, I’ll read what smarter people made of it. For now, I am looking at the Sistine Chapel and saying: “Look at all the lovely colours”. It’s a perfectly reasonable place to start. Will I go again? Yes, I said yes, I will, yes (once I get a spare 27 hours).

• Colm O’Regan hosts a special Bloomsday Reading in Meeting House Square, Temple Bar on Tuesday, June 16.