Esther McCarthy: The first, last and only rules of Kitchen Club — don’t talk about it!

Never mind dating apps, being ghosted by carpenters hits hard. As for trying to get a plumber - ha! Good luck. We were so close with one gorgeous designer; husband and I nearly felt we were in an open marriage, we were both utterly smitten.

Esther McCarthy: is getting the kitchen done up, y'know!

Getting a new kitchen in your 40s is a bit like joining Fight Club. First rule of Kitchen Club? You don’t talk about Kitchen Club. Second rule? YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT KITCHEN CLUB.

Even if you’ve just spent two hours swooning over backsplash tiles on Pinterest.