Esther McCarthy: Some spa days aren't relaxing, I found out the hard way water + shiatsu = horror

What he lacks in stature, he makes up for in body hair. He has his hands on his hips, so I know he means business. He is wearing a tinchy pair of black budgie smugglers, so I can also see his business.

Esther McCarthy. Picture: Emily Quinn

We are playing a game in a restaurant, you know the lovely imaginary ones you have with the family when you’re trying some distraction techniques waiting for food to come.

We play a word game we made up, called, inventively, The Word Game.