Suzanne Harrington: Eurovision, just like the Irish entry, is definitely not transphobic

Suzanne Harrington: You might never have heard of Wild Youth, but you definitely have now. Picture: Andrew Hasson

As we blunder through tumultuous times, fighting culture wars on a daily basis, the Eurovision Song Contest remains a giant mirror, reflecting back to us whatever is currently going on. This year, it’s geopolitics and gender wars

Once a relatively innocent affair, barring the occasional regional boycott, comprised of nothing more complicated than terrible songs, earnest performers, shonky MDF sets glue-gunned with glitter, and nul points for Royaume-Uni, it is now quite the event.

Obviously it’s still comprised of terrible songs and earnest performers — we’d be alarmed if it wasn’t — but increasingly accessorised by epilepsy-inducing lighting, complicated pyrotechnics and costumes that wish they were at the Met Gala, rather than the Hunger Games sponsored by Aldi.

Still though. It seems churlish to be cynical, right? Especially if it cheers people up.

This year the UK is delighted to momentarily focus on somewhere having a worse time than themselves, and to offer some high profile solidarity — so long as it’s not Sudan.

Hosting the Eurovision for Ukraine is hugely symbolic, and relatively easy — there are no brown people in small boats involved, and everyone gets to feel good about themselves.

There’s even a campaign to create the world’s biggest digital singalong, aiming to get as many people as possible to upload themselves singing the Beatles’ ‘ With A Little Help From My Friends’ at noon on Saturday.

Only the sight of Vladimir Putin being lowered from a sparkly helicopter in a spangled leotard, belting out Cher’s ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ by way of apology for all the annexation, could be more feelgood.

Wild Youth in Liverpool ahead of the Eurovision.Picture: Peter Byrne/PA Wire

Maybe JK Rowling might sing along too. Or will she be too busy firing off more angry tweets at Ireland’s entry? You might never have heard of Wild Youth, but you definitely have now — Ireland’s premier “preening, self-satisfied misogynists” have been targeted by Rowling. Doesn’t she ever take a day off? You’d almost feel protective of this well-meaning boyband and their desire to be kind, regardless of whatever comes out of them musically on the night.

Kindness and inclusivity is what Saturday night is all about, underneath the atrocious pop. The Eurovision has an honourable history of being the gayest, campest, most trans-friendly event ever on international TV, even as it is beamed into homes in countries where LGBTQIA+ rights are decidedly compromised — how on earth did Azerbaijan, with its rock bottom record on same-sex human rights, ever get to host it?

Trans woman Dana International won in 1998, a full decade before RuPaul’s Drag Race went mainstream; Conchita Wurst, the sequinned drag queen with the beard, who seems to be Jared Leto’s style inspo, won it in 2014.

The Eurovision might be musically appalling, but like the Irish entry, it’s definitely not transphobic. And if it brings cheer to Ukraine for an hour, then it has served its purpose for another year.