Edel Coffey: This post-pandemic phase has started to feel a bit like a post-joy phase

My French friends understand that making the small things as pleasurable, joyful, and beautiful as you can, has the power to infuse your day with much pleasure, joy and beauty.

"The Irish are the Oxen of the human race." So said a friend on a recent night out. To give the comment some context, I was just back from a trip to Paris and was proselytising about how the French seem to know how to find the pleasure in everything.

They have an effortless ability to make every moment in their lives, even the mundane ones, about pure, sensual pleasure. A passing ray of sunlight is an excuse to bask, luxuriate, take a selfie, pour a glass of wine, read a poem, share a kiss. While we Irish might squint, pull a blind down and say “this heat is killing me”. My friend nodded. “They are the cats of the human race,” she said. “We Irish are the oxen.”

I can’t speak for anyone but myself here but the comment did personally feel a little too close for comfort. I realised I had been trudging through my furrow like a little ox for some time now, as many of us have I think, as we have navigated a return to the busy-ness we swore we would never, ever go back to.

Getting the work done, ticking things off the list, dragging the yoke methodically along behind me, but somewhere along the way forgetting to enjoy it.

I thought wistfully about how the last two years seems to have slowly leached the spontaneity and joie-de-vivre from day-to-day life. This post-pandemic phase has started to feel a bit like a post-joy phase.

My trip to France reminded me of this as I watched the cultural mass participation in finding the joy in the small things, from savouring a croissant to valuing the craftmanship of a hand-cut shirt. It made me realise that there is joy to be had in every moment of every day should we care to find it.

Taking the time to enjoy a croissant is one way to bring joy through small moments

I thought it was high time to take a leaf out of the French book of how to live. After all, it’s not like it costs anything. It’s more about a change in attitude, a state of mind.

Maya Angelou said: ‘Living well is an art that can be developed, a love of life and ability to take great pleasure from small offerings.’

I have a few French friends who do everything with a sense of beauty and style, from how they arrange their books on a shelf to how they stack their toilet rolls in their bathroom. I think they have an understanding that making the small things as pleasurable, joyful, and beautiful as you can, has the power to infuse your day with much pleasure, joy and beauty.

So I’ve been making an active effort to reclaim the joy in my life, to find the pleasure in the small things, something as small as buying fresh flowers for my desk or being grateful for a warm, comfortable spot to work. I suppose the pleasure-seeking attitude is not a million miles away from the popular philosophy of practising gratitude.

So many of us seem to live our lives in the future, thinking ahead to the day we get that promotion or the day we meet the person of our dreams as the day we will be happy or finally living the life we want to. But what many of us have come to understand over the last few years is that there are no guarantees for the future.

The real geniuses of this world (cats; Parisians) have figured out that happiness comes from the small things and from the moment we find ourselves in right now.

Like it or not, most of our lives are made up of the small, mundane moments so why wouldn’t we try to find the joy in them, even if it’s only in cleaning out the shower drain or making another batch of spaghetti bolognese.

You might hate cooking or domestic chores, but shifting our attitude to appreciate the sense of wellbeing that comes from having a clean and tidy home, or a home-cooked meal could be the difference between going through your day like a beast of burden and finding the joy in our days. 

Instead of griping about making yet another dinner, take some time over it, take some pleasure from setting the table with place mats, a flower in a vase, a lit candle to bring some optimism to your evening meal. It might sound silly but it can make a huge difference to your experience.

The writer Robert Brault said: “Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things.”

The fact is, the big ‘joyful’ events in life are few and far between. Most of our everyday happiness does come from the small things: The soft, fresh bread, the feel of the soft carpet pile under our bare feet, or the tender touch of a loved one.

Now feels like a good time to bring back the joy of small things. The little moments are happening around us all the time. And while they might seem boring, or even dreary at times, there will come a time when we look back and long for them.