Suzanne Harrington: Assault course must be completed before start of intense gardening
What else are we going to do apart from shove plants into the ground? Stock image
A fight breaks out in the queue at the garden centre. Now there’s a sentence I never imagined writing – for a start, I’m too young for garden centres – but this is 2020 and all bets are off. The Teen and I are queuing for compost, because what else are we going to do apart from shove plants into the ground. Someone told us it was therapeutic.
It’s all about displacement activity, to distract the Teen from daytime drinking with the Kardashians, and to stop me from thinking about my adopted country of residence being run by an evil goblin and his Latin-speaking monkey. I am digging holes in the garden to stop thinking about Dominic Cummings. It’s not working. And now we have run out of compost.
