Lighten Up: The Oscar goes to the calf rearer
Once the Co-op bill had been settled and the dairy farmer looked after, there was nothing left for.
Of all the farmers I hold in high renown, the calf rearer stands alone.
The calf rearer is head and shoulders above everyone else.
He and indeed she, should not only have been supported years ago, but given an Oscar for their efforts in the field.
I myself reared calves for many years but gave it all up when I saw my back starting to bend and my money trickling to an end.
Nobody likes admitting defeat, but I will admit defeat with regard to the calf and the bag of milk replacer.
Calf rearing or more pertinently again, the struggle to make a living from it, led me to despair.
I had dreamed big, I struggled hard, and eventually, I failed.
I gave up on calf rearing when I realised once the Co-op bill had been settled and the dairy farmer looked after, there was nothing left for poor old Lehane.
And 'nothing' my dear friend is a poor companion when you have a family to feed.
You can forget about your Oppenheimer, and how Cillian Murphy acted out the stresses of being a man under pressure.
If you want to see real pressure, look at a farmer today without a cow and attempting to make a living off the dairy calf. I give you the hero of our time.
I gave up buying and rearing calves the year that Covid arrived. I felt one killer was enough to deal with.
Anyhow, I hear news now of talks about to begin. Talks on plans that might be considered to ease the burden on the calf rearer.
Talks about talks. Talks that once all the stakeholders have time to look at all the options set out before them, by the relevant parties, an 'action plan' might be put in place.
"An action plan", I believe, is what the minister for agriculture is calling it. An action plan to help the calf rearer.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the time to help the calf rearer was five years ago.
That ship sunk years ago. The thing lacking in calf rearing today is not only money but confidence.
Anyone today who can stay above water in this particular game is performing something akin to a miracle.
It's not 'an action plan' we need at all to help the calf rearer, only a trip to Fatima.
To rear a dairy calf in Ireland today and to make money out of him, is akin to heading to Las Vegas with empty pockets and coming home a millionaire.
It cannot be done in the present climate. Indeed, I believe it cannot be done in any climate from here to Mars.
Confidence in farming is at an all-time low. Confidence in calf rearing is kaput.
And as for this 'Action Plan', even if it consisted of one or two years of subsidies (as some are campaigning for) to help those struggling, it would not be enough.
It would still only be like tossing a bag of ice cubes into a raging volcano.
Is there anyone interested in entering into the arena of calf rearing in 2024? I thought not.
Would you encourage a son or daughter to start a career which involved buying a load of calves and rearing them? I thought not.
So where does that leave us?
Talking about calf rearing is a grand thing. Sure, I could talk about going to the moon. Doing it is a different matter.
And if people aren't interested in rearing calves, you may as well be talking about the moon.
But back to the real heroes in Irish farming, those who still persist today in the calf-rearing game.
And perhaps you are making ends meet.
Well, if you are, I salute you.
You are doing something that has beaten so many of us.
'Action Plan' my backside, you deserve an Oscar.
