Progress in battles with ‘icide’ family

My son sometimes describes my job as waking up in the morning, starting arguments on social media, and spending the rest of the day stretching these arguments out until sleep time.

Indeed, as the first of the argument-causing tweets and facebook posts are pre-programmed from the night before, they arrive into people’s phones for 6 or 7am, causing a few spluttery cornflake spews, general exasperation and angry ripostes, all while I’m still tucked up in my bed.