Denis Lehane: The perfect job for a worn-out farmer

For those worn out after a spring of calving cows, lambing sheep and paying bills, I might have the perfect job lined up for you!

Word has reached my ear regarding an opportunity that exists, whereby all you need do is lie on your arse for two months and be handsomely rewarded for your trouble.

Indeed so handsomely that you may need to lie down when I give you the figure — €8,000 a month.