Strategy is ‘first we take Berlin’

THE announcement that Ireland has taken charge of the European Union was warmly received by the Snugabheen town council at their bi-weekly annual meeting.

“This is truly great news”, declared Councillor Flynn from the Green Party. He then seconded a motion forwarded by Councillor O’ Flynn of the Green with Purple Stripes Party, that the council should officially note it as a great day for Ireland, and one in the eye for our neighbour, Britain.

“Today Europe, tomorrow the world”, roared Councillor Flynn from the Maroon party, over a tumultuous din of cheers, guffaws and roars of “up ye boy ye” .

Councillor Flynn said Ireland’s ascent to the very top of the European pile was as swift as it was inevitable.

“A couple of years ago, we were a Fourth World nation and we spent our time begging, cap in hand with the béal bocht, from the big cheeses in Europe. We were at the EEC’s front door in Brussels , looking for a few spare roads and a bit of infrastructure for the children, sor.”

“Now, all of a sudden, we are the biggest, smelliest richest cheese of the lot, the tiger that got the cream. I always knew that as soon as we beat the British out and let everyone else in, things would improve, but never in my wildest dreams did I hope that some day we might take over Europe altogether”.

“I still can’t believe we pulled it off with so little bloodshed.”

All the councillors agreed that, even at this early stage, we must consolidate our gains.”

“We have to secure the ports, bridges, tunnels and airports immediately, the army can be augmented by the FCA and Civil Defence”.

“All commercial institutions should be left to operate as usual with minimum disruption, but a 5% tax will be imposed to boost the war chest for the big fight against America. When Japan attacked Pearl Harbour, General Yakamoto was worried that they had disturbed a sleeping giant, which turned out to be true. This time out, the giant is fatter than ever, slow to anger and quick to eat, I believe they are there for the taking, through the back door, while they are watching Mars and Iraq.”

But Councillor Flynn from the Yellowish party was not so sure.

“What would we do with all the prisoners of war? Perhaps we could try out a power sharing agreement first, surely there is enough for both of us”.