I WANT an early doors closure on the elephant in the room.

WE WON’T start with the garlic.

ABOUT 10 days ago, a rumour started about the EU Commissionership.

In a war, if you wanted to take the Isle of Man, you’d just have to point Maeve at the Isle of Man and it would be yours by teatime

THE great thing about the offspring’s visit this weekend was that it eliminated any possibility of reading newspapers, thereby removing the need to take a stand on Pat Kenny’s salary, John O’Donoghue’s expenses or Batt O’Keeffe being U-turned by the Green Party.

She said the Duke of Wellington groaned over her for hours, which is surprising, given his verbal brevity in all other aspects of his life.

ARMA virumque cano.

IF YOU want to lead the next generation of Irish entrepreneurs, then you’d better get your skates on, because you have just a few days in which to get your application on the desk of the Endeavour people.

THE amazing thing is that they did it twice.

ON September 5, 2008, Brian Cowen appeared on the Late Late Show to give his first big interview as Taoiseach to Pat Kenny.