Bishop Phonsie Cullinan said Gardasil is only 70% safe, however, the worst that can be said against the vaccine is that it isn’t 100% effective, writes Terry Prone.

The woman was properly ratty about her mother’s funeral. Even though it was a couple of years ago, she could still work herself up into a good rage about the priest

Keep swimming like a shark because there’s always someone younger, prettier and more talented than you right behind you, writes Terry Prone

You might think that in a contest between being a bit embarrassed on the one hand and saving your life on the other, saving your life is always going to be the winner, writes Terry Prone.

Ironically, Robert E. Lee would have been against sculptures of himself in full military gear, writes Terry Prone

Put the first and second fingers of your right hand together. Firmly together. As if they’re stuck together. See that? That’s how me and Joe Arpaio used to be: Closerthanthis, as they say in the best supermarket tabloid magazines.

“Nineteen hyenas and a broken vacuum cleaner control the White House.”

A decent fountain throws water up into the air to refract sunlight and cool the surroundings, writes Terry Prone

When I gave it a bit more thought though, I fell half in love with the idea of having my own personal robot to mind me, writes Terry Prone.

The degree was an opportunity for Cowen to make a speech. A lengthy speech. Fifty minutes, writes Terry Prone