And while we’re having a New Year clear out, maybe we could give ‘influencer’ the boot too

"We’re desperate for a buzzword that doesn’t resonate negatively; we are clutching at straws here. Rizz? Who even says that? Oh. Fifty billion Gen Zs on TikTok. My bad."

"At last, amid the oceans of pointless bro-tech, an app that benefits the connective tissue of the middle-aged lady."

Is it wrong to be delighted when your kids move out? Not so much delighted for yourself — although less mess and more space is nice — but delighted for them.

"How can you detach when Christmassing is shoved so squarely in your face? When the shops and telly have weaponised I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day and turned it into reality, so that for a chunk of the year there is no escape from it?"

Suella Braverman would have been comical if she wasn't so dangerous

Have you checked your PayPal recently to see what you might have signed up to when you're not fully alert and awake?

Shout out to Paul Lynch, whose fifth novel Prophet Song — on the Booker shortlist — showcases an Irish dystopia set in a future so ordinary and relatable it could be happening the week after next. 

"Halloween is perfect — short, fun, non-prescriptive, and catering to that one aspect strangled by the performative perfectionism of Christmas and weddings — campy weirdness and anti-beauty."

'The dehumanisation of Palestinian civilians is happening in front of our eyes, and those who call it out — voices like Jeremy Corbyn, Miriam Margolyes — are viewed as extremists by the mainstream'