Let's try Limitarianism, like Professor Ingrid Robeyns suggests. Capping personal wealth at ten million could reverse threats to democracy, climate breakdown, and, crucially, the balance of power itself. 

'All that empty nest syndrome stuff is, I suspect, a rumour started by men and adult children to keep women poised in sandwich-making mode'

If Bergoglio is so concerned about the dignity of the child, why isn’t he absolutely apoplectic about the 10,000 Palestinian children bombed to death by the state of Israel in the past 100 days?

"What if actually you’d like to rekindle the joy of faraway sunshine, as Storm Schartzmugel lashes down on your head? How do you do that?"

And while we’re having a New Year clear out, maybe we could give ‘influencer’ the boot too

"We’re desperate for a buzzword that doesn’t resonate negatively; we are clutching at straws here. Rizz? Who even says that? Oh. Fifty billion Gen Zs on TikTok. My bad."

"At last, amid the oceans of pointless bro-tech, an app that benefits the connective tissue of the middle-aged lady."

Is it wrong to be delighted when your kids move out? Not so much delighted for yourself — although less mess and more space is nice — but delighted for them.

"How can you detach when Christmassing is shoved so squarely in your face? When the shops and telly have weaponised I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day and turned it into reality, so that for a chunk of the year there is no escape from it?"

Suella Braverman would have been comical if she wasn't so dangerous