"New legislation would see billionaires blasted into space forever and their wealth redistributed to fix the climate crisis."

"This week I realised I desperately wanted to talk to him about interest rates, just to hear him say that everything would be ok, and not to worry."

"...for every step forward football makes – the ongoing mainstreaming of women’s football, the anti-racism message baked into the Premiership – there is a step back."

It's a case of trick or eat this year as Rishi Sunak takes on the Prime Minister's gig

When people do get active and cause disruption to highlight the fact that we are all sleepwalking towards self-destruction, they are monstered

My interest-only mortgage has gone up an eye-watering four hundred quid a month without any warning – thanks to me being stupid enough to live in the UK

It seems unfair that when the time comes for our beloved old dog, she will die peacefully at home, safe and surrounded by family. I’d quite like the same privilege for myself, without my kids being jailed for matricide.

"What began purely for economic reasons – the first category can’t afford to move out, and the second category have been bussed in to keep the wolf from tap-dancing down the garden path – has turned into something of a cultural exchange."

People have called the Teasock woman’s hastily assembled cabinet ‘diverse’ because there are differences of skin pigmentation and gender, but 68% of them are privately educated; there’s nothing diverse about wall-to-wall privilege.

Devotion to Her Late Majesty is now being calculated by how long you spent shuffling along the Thames; at the time of writing, David Beckham was in the lead.