IT is the beginning of abortion and the end of austerity — quite a week for the Government, except that neither statement is true.

MARGARET Thatcher did not ‘lie in state’, but she left us with the parting shot that the Irish State lies.

WHILE Alan Shatter was obsessing about Dr Who, the IMF had a far more scary medic in their sights — Health Minister Dr James Reilly.

SEX, lies and audiotape dominated a telling few days in Irish politics.

WELL, that’s certainly one way to put the ‘riot’ into Cypriot.

ENDA Kenny is an irrelevance. Well, that is what he seems to believe anyway.

AFTER giving God just two weeks’ notice that he was quitting his job, Pope Benedict then had the nerve to blame the ‘Big G’ for everything that went wrong during his papacy.

WE have been assured the Anglo prom-note deal is an unsinkable “ship” that has left “port” — let’s hope it is not the Titanic leaving Cobh, heading for an iceberg.

THEY’RE back.

AH, the Dáil, what a shower of hypocrites — the voters that is, not just the politicians.