IS there such a thing as a 50/50 relationship, where both partners love each other the same way?

OKAY, let’s have a little quiet time.

A CRAGGY Scottish manager called Jimmy Sirrell said “football is about the result, the rest is just gossip”. Try telling that to Spurs boss Martin Jol.

IT WAS a week of yawn stifling. Should Liverpool players make the supreme sacrifice for St George? The media huffed and puffed, pretending anyone cares if Carragher doesn’t want to play sixth fiddle to a gaggle of stretcher cases and lightweights.

USELESS officials, whining opponents, infuriating players, traffic delays, overcrowded pubs, bitten nails, awful songs.

WE WERE called boring by an Italian hatchet man, and accused of lacking ambition by a club that won one title in the previous century.

YOU know, I don’t.

ONLY a deranged, callous moron could find fault with his team after they’ve reached the last four of the Champions League again.

I DON’T read this wonderful newspaper, but I get to see the columns on the website.

I WAS entertained and intrigued during international week.