IT NEVER rains but it pours, so they say. Whilst our woes could hardly be called torrential and a flood warning would be hysterical in the extreme, there is a tiny yet discernible trickling around the ankles.

MARSEILLE was the accident waiting to happen. It had been coming for weeks.

MAY the Lord save us from the slumberfest called Rotation andits discussion thereof.

MOCKERY can get you into a whole heap of trouble. We chuckled as Allardyce criticised Benitez on the day Newcastle lost to a team we hit for six.

OH WELL, it was nice while it lasted.

IS there such a thing as a 50/50 relationship, where both partners love each other the same way?

OKAY, let’s have a little quiet time.

A CRAGGY Scottish manager called Jimmy Sirrell said “football is about the result, the rest is just gossip”. Try telling that to Spurs boss Martin Jol.

IT WAS a week of yawn stifling. Should Liverpool players make the supreme sacrifice for St George? The media huffed and puffed, pretending anyone cares if Carragher doesn’t want to play sixth fiddle to a gaggle of stretcher cases and lightweights.

USELESS officials, whining opponents, infuriating players, traffic delays, overcrowded pubs, bitten nails, awful songs.