"Any hopes I had about Northern Irish politics being reliably normal died around that time, even if blips of competence and — whisper it — progress appeared on the radar here and there."

By the time Hillary Actual Clinton had released her own, the lamentations over Barbie – a film nominated for both Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay, which has thus far earned more money than the GDP of the Seychelles – had reached dazzling levels of snubmania

I can’t speak for how any of this will work for anyone else, but it’s working for me even if I sometimes wish it weren’t

The horror continues, and the fact that it crowds out our timelines is deplorable. But we cannot and should not look away.

"Every time such egregious acts of cronyism are committed, there is a mild uproar. But nothing is done, changed, or amended out of some sense that the system currently in place is there for good or ill."

"...I’ve taken it upon myself to conceive a brave new series of gongs to restore small screen achievements to their rightful place in the cultural firmament..."

"Do you remember all their names? How did you all get around? Your parents mustn’t have had many hobbies, and always, eventually, Jesus, what were Christmases like in your house?"

"Last year, Entertainment Weekly listed 172 new Christmas movies across all platforms. Extrapolating this backwards in time, it’s likely that around 700 Christmas movies have been produced and released since December 2020."

'If [Elon] Musk is the stupid person’s idea of a smart person, [Conor] McGregor might be said to be a 12-year-old’s idea of a cool 14-year-old'

"There are photos of nights out which predate the smartphone era by several years, conjuring a dimly remembered, and alarming, recollection that we all used to take photos on digital cameras, plug them into our laptops, and upload them one by one in the manner of dribbling psychopaths."