I’m happy that Alex Jones doesn’t know enough about Ireland to get my hometown’s name right. We will not sleepwalk into making it a place he’d feel right at home.

"For the past decade, a surge in patriotic populism has seized the UK’s government and popular press, weaponising itself against every grievance; Europe, immigrants, the environmental protesters, the environment, unions, LGBT people, and human rights."

"...arguably the best compliment I can pay this adaptation is that it’s managed the same tightrope walk of tone and detail [as its inspiration] with aplomb..."

"Ensh*ttification is everywhere. It’s in the degradation of social media platforms and the ubiquity of crap customer service bots, it’s in the robotic voices incapable of answering your queries on the phone to your own bank."

At a time when people are more disconnected, seeking parasocial enlightenment has never seemed more attractive

"...trivial misunderstandings, bucolic landscapes, interior shots that are lit like a Nurofen ad, and a romantic triangle in which two different flavours of non-threatening male love interest are pursued by a woman who can’t stop falling over..."

Digesting royal drama is very similar to recapping Eastenders, or Game of Thrones

Even by the standards of the 'Crap Wonderland', Glasgow's Willy Wonka Experience was an absolute Category 5 disaster.

It was heartening to have so many steadfast, committed and dogged journalists in that field raising questions about my case.

When I began writing this piece, I realised I hadn’t had a spam call in a while, and promptly received one five minutes before I sat down to write this very sentence.