Séamas O'Reilly: I would have paid to bear witness to the disaster that was the Willy Wonka Experience

Even by the standards of the 'Crap Wonderland', Glasgow's Willy Wonka Experience was an absolute Category 5 disaster.

'Part of me would have given anything to have been in their place.' Picture: Orfhlaith Whelan

There are few genres of news more warming to my blackened heart than the “Crap Wonderland”. 

You know the kind of thing; images in local newspapers of people bearing tickets and sad-faces interspersed with abysmal shots of an Easter Egg Hunt that looks like a dystopian holding camp in a Half Life game; a Winter Wonderland attraction featuring a plastic snowman and a single, sad reindeer roped to a port-a-loo; a Disney Experience featuring a hungover lady wearing Elsa from Frozen’s dress over her own clothes, selling non-Disney merch featuring the minions and Paw Patrol.