'Whether you use Twitter or not, this column would not exist and neither would most of my work, in its current form. The same could likely be said for a handful of other people in this newspaper, and most others.'

"The meal at my sister’s wedding was beautiful but, back in the day, food was in its infancy as an enjoyable substance, so dinner was of the beef-or-lamb variety, albeit with a spread of cocktail sausages and chips for the younger kids."

Debate is sensible if muted ... in a country [Ireland] where the spectre of “global warming” has, for some people, the ring of being threatened with a good time

I don’t know if it’s necessary, or even desirable, for public figures to be relatable, but it seems increasingly important to them

Dreams are overrated according to Séamas O'Reilly

I thought it was weird that the only way to motivate rich people to work is to give them loads of money, but the only way to motivate poor people to work is to remove their money

"For me, it’s the slow smattering of white overtaking the red hair at my temples, which might make other people look distinguished but makes me look like one of those Scottie dogs people refuse to put down"

In place of bible verses, I’d ask that the congregation is shown the first eight minutes of Pixar’s Up and that bit of My Girl when McCauley Culkin dies

I wanted to talk about the ordinary people I know here in England and their reactions, but the fact is, there hasn’t been much.

"The script is basically made up of half-remembered lines from films that do make sense, and the plot is garbled to the point of incomprehensibility."