Such is the ongoing battle in relation to family food that the only real winner in our home is the compost bin.

Such is my level of baby-brain that I should not be operating heavy machinery, which is my justification for not staying on top of the hoovering

“I really think you’re in labour,” Fred says, but I dismiss him quickly, because if Dr Quinn Medicine Woman taught me anything it is that men have contributed absolutely nothing to the canon of medical knowledge.

"It all sounds a bit too much like effort when you could just switch on the movie Super Mario Bros and be done with it..."

"I worry that school is not a place where everyone will shine or be happy. As such, I can’t help but bite my lip a little as I watch him take off with his new Spiderman bag"

I want you to know that I am a good mammy. I might not be the best prepared, dressed, or presented, but I will love you so much that your first words will probably be something along the lines of “Mammy, I need personal space, please”

People are taking guesses as to what we are having based on the shape of my bump

"I’m not sure where I thought I was going, but underwear-wise, I was either feeling highly optimistic about what I would be getting up to in hospital or in complete denial as to how in bits I would be after the birth."

"Throwing himself to the ground, Ted cries out, leaving me feeling like I'm officially the worst mother in the world because I have meandered over to the playground minus snacks."

This week Ted is revelling in his crowning glory and rubbing salt into poor Daddy's increasingly receding hairline