"I look at the mechanics buzzing around my jalopy, trying to guess what their reactions are. Why are they laughing? IT’S NOT FUNNY."

"An entirely homemade solution to an external threat. Not only the moving of Coronation Street but also the moving of the aerial by interfering adult children."

"One of about 20 mixed native trees I planted on a formerly ferny few square metres of rough ground at the edge of one of my mother’s fields."

"It’s nice to watch what life is like if you don’t spend time worrying about trivial things like work and chores and that thing you said to another parent at the school gate or whether crime is on the up or fretting about that friend who has recently got into chemtrails."

"...the Tour De France was the best way to glimpse France beyond a late night Quare Film, or “les Francais adore le Piat d’Or”, or “ou est le centre de George Pompidou?”

"There is nobody else between you and your choice. Even if you act the bollox and write Custard Creams Are Dacent on your ballot paper, it’s you. You’re owning it. It’s mindful."

Because Climate Change was called Global Warming during our formative years, many of us are still expecting deserts and animal skulls. But it doesn’t always mean that. It

"There were plenty of rave smileys, but still the logos of Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Nirvana, and the odd pentangle persisted."

"Occasionally we’ll find a motherlode under a bridge. A stash. But it’s from the pre-Squiggly R days."

"Like a lot of parents of young children, I like to delude myself that the world will be fixed by the time I need it."