Yes! We celebrated. Or rather we used the announcement of a vaccine as an excuse to get filthy pizza. Pizza with the right amount (a lot) of oil drizzled on it. And the garlic mayonnaise that is only possible to get in takeaways.

Cough, she said. Cough, cough cough, she went on. My wife got a cough. A cough we hoped wasn’t The Cough. She rang the doctor confessing the cough hoping to gain absolution.

Life goals: there are different types.

I’ve never been asked the question before this year. There was something about the way a Dublin Nana asked me this week: “Are you working?” It had a 1980s feel to it. The old-style recession.

I know nothing about anything, so this is probably all wrong. But here goes anyway. Think of it like I’m on a swap site giving away something for free.

If I obey the rules I’m either an eejit or I don’t kill someone. If I don’t I’m a legend or I could kill someone.

This week, 21 years ago, on a sweltering hot evening I got off a train in New Orleans. It was the end of the first leg of a train trip around the States after my J1 visa summer in New York. The youth hostel I was staying at was on Carondelet Street.

I’m not saying they need a team-building day at Trabolgan but something needs to change.

Colm O'Regan's first gig since lockdown included mics in sterilised bags, green rooms and - for the first time in a while -adrenaline 

It's not good enough to learn new skills these days, you need to let others know you have them via social media