Colm O'Regan: Here’s how to escape the ‘creeping Americanisation’ of Halloween 

Ah leave the pumpkins alone. You see a lot of snippiness this time of year about the ‘creeping Americanisation’ of Halloween. Yes, there is a lot more plasticky stuff bought on Ali Express than ‘our day’. Yes, there will be five-year-olds wearing bloodstained Squid Game tracksuits when all we had growing up was Quinnsworth bags and our own bloodstains. And yes the barmbrack rings are kept outside the barm bracks for insurance reasons. Ah, that wasn’t like the old barmbrack. When you broke your tooth on a ring that told you you’d get married in a year, choked on a cloth that told you you’d be a nun and a matchstick ripping your gum foretold an unhappy marriage. Isn’t that great oul banter for the kiddies hah? Shur they might as well learn about child bridery and bad spouses early.

And pumpkins are fine. I don’t buy this “You do know that in Ireland we started Halloween and we used to carve turnips?” Listen, there was no one going on about carving turnips until they started seeing pumpkins for tuppence halfpenny in Lidl. No one carved turnips in my day. When you’ve had turnip and spud for most days between September and March, there’s absolutely no recreational interest in the bollox. It’d be like bringing your Busy At Maths to the seaside.