The Rock cooking up Big Trouble in Little China remake

Remakes continue to be a thing, and often a very unecessary thing.

The latest target, or victim, is 1986's Big Trouble in Little China. It's a bizarre action comedy thing with an unusual (for the time) focus on martial arts in a Western film, lots of silly effects and Kurt Russell at peak Russell-ness. It's really quite a thing. Check out the trailer.

It's extremely weird but also a lot of fun and absoutely a film which was a product of the decade and the combination of Russell and Carpenter - who carved out a great genre niche for themselves in the 80s. In short, it's practically impossible to remake, but it looks like its happening anyway.

It seems The Rock is interested in ressurecting the property. He's working with Fox studios and his own production company to make it happen, taking on the role of Jack Burton himself. That'll see him as a all-American trucker who gets involved in a mystical battle in San Francisco with crazy flying asian god things. Ashley Miller and Zack Stentz are writing it.

Firstly, Mr Rock playing that role makes no sense at all. Part of the appeal of Burton is that he's a bit of a spaz - he's not as big or fast or strong as his enemies but he wins out anyway for one of the more hopeful endings Carpenter ever conjured. The Rock looks like he is a product of the congress of a mountain and a Redwood tree, and even the recent earthshaking San Andreas never really made him look like he was in peril.

Secondly, do you really want to see a glossy version of this story? With quality special effects and proper dialogue and a sensitive point of view on Eastern myths? Hell no!

Big Trouble in Little China might get remade but we're not happy about it.

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