Personal Insights: A mother's open letter to her baby after five year IVF journey

Ruth Harrison and her husband embarked on a five year IVF journey which resulted in the birth of their precious son Ajay in January 2018. As a message to the one in six Irish couples who have infertility issues Ruth has written this letter to her son.

The author with her son, Ajay, shortly after his birth
The author with her son, Ajay, shortly after his birth

I loved you before I met you.

Your Mammy and Daddy met, fell in love and got married. It was such a very special day surrounded by our families and friends. It was a Saturday in March 2014 filled with love and smiles and happiness.

Throughout all our lives we both waited for you to be sent to us.

For so many days, months and years we longed, we hoped, we prayed. We waited such a long time sometimes feeling very sad and lonely to be without you.

We got a lot of help and advice so that we were both as healthy and strong as possible to give the best chance that you would arrive to this world.

Doctors and nurses in Ireland and Spain worked incredibly hard trying many things to bring you to us. It took many treatments, some operations and lots of good luck. Along the way there were many tears but we always believed.

Finally after much effort and almost when we were about to give up, we were told that you were in my tummy.

We saw your little heartbeat shining like a light on a screen at our very first scan when you were just 6 weeks old. What a day that was. We were so happy yet really very scared in case anything happened to you before we met.

Week after week, month after month you grew bigger and stronger inside of me. My darling son and most precious boy.

After so many years of waiting and nine long months, while you were growing you were born on the 18th January 2018 at 9.37 a.m. weighing 6 lbs and 6 ounces.

You are the greatest achievement of my life. I love your smiles, your snuggles, your hugs and your laughs.

You are a miracle child.

Live your life to the full Ajay. Always keep your laughter, your sense of wonder, your joy in simple things and your great sense of fun.

You are such a strong and determined little boy, you made it against so many odds. You are a total and real survivor.

You are the greatest achievement of my life.

Thank you Ajay for being the blessing that you are.

Love always, Your Mammy

Ruth Harrison's submission is part of a new digital initiative on irishexaminer.com called Personal Insights.
As part of the Personal Insights initiative we are asking readers, creative writing groups and writing enthusiasts in general to share personal essays chronicling an experience which has impacted their lives and any learnings from that life experience they would like to share with a wider audience.
The essays should be sent directly to the executive editor for news and digital, Dolan O’Hagan, at dolan.ohagan@examiner.ie for consideration.
Please note all submissions should be given the subject line ‘Personal Insights submission’ to ensure they are picked up and should include any related imagery and a contact telephone number.
Only submissions which meet the Irish Examiner’s own strict journalistic, ethical and legal guidelines will be considered for publication.
The Irish Examiner reserves the right to edit submissions in line with those guidelines and before publication direct contact will be made with the person who has submitted the content.
No payment will be made for submissions and our decision as regards publication is final.
Our goal is to publish one submission per week and use all our powers to make sure it is seen by as wide an audience as possible.
We look forward to reading your stories.

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