How to free yourself from housework drudgery

Busting dust and taming that pile of ironing are tasks that can mount, but Kya deLongchamps is on hand with a list of top tips to help you take control of that clutter and reduce that workload.

The overwhelming, nerve-numbing quality of housework, its repetition and sheer aching dullness — what can there possibly be to look forward to? Pile onto this the utter disgrace of the enduring gender divide when it comes to picking up the knickers and ploughing the wool mix pile, and I’m just about ready to throw the Denby dishes straight through the grubby kitchen window.

The Gender Equality Index 2017 (EU) shows that while 90% of women engage stoically in unpaid housekeeping, just 40% of men bother to lick a cloth over the counter or pull the trigger on the Cilit Bang. By the way, man or woman — if you’re cleaning to solely impress others, listen to the insightful, irreverent Joan Rivers — “Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum...”

I will point out here that Joan would have spent the bulk of her adult life aided by a parade of housekeepers. See our guide to getting help — a smart move for many busy households.

With the longest opposable thumbs of all primates and our unique cognitive capacity that has planted flags on the moon — the solitary, budget busted cleaner can surely claw and think their way clear of at least some of the domestic drudgery and accumulated chaos?

Try hacking your way to freedom one room at a time. Decluttering? Really? You know full well that more stuff and means more cleaning. We’re not all “enchanted with organising” like home guru Marie Kondo, but an overloaded house adds hundreds of hours to your workload every year. Investigate the KonMari method here: konmari.com.

1. Own your part in this

Self-sabotaging habits are at the centre of some of the worst that a dusty, disparate house has to throw at us. Getting organised, even embracing minimalism in large areas of the house, is not the mark of an uptight serial killer. Rather, it’s the mark of a liberated, intelligent future forward soul. Little and often — such a pert, pretty, clever technique. Stop stepping on your own tail by letting the chores get away from you. Motivation? A clean, less dusty house with a low chemical burden in the air — it’s simply healthier.

2. Delegate

Irish women, in particular, have a comedy cliché role as burning martyrs to the needs of their family. It’s about time we exploded this notion (man or woman) and got the entire family on board. Sending teens and twenty-somethings out into the world without a shred of domestic science bar stabbing the microwave — I pity their future partner. Pinterest offers dozens of Family Chore Charts. Print them out and make phone credit contingent on teamwork done.

3. Ironing?

Just stop doing it. Set the dryer to deliver the clothes just a touch damp and hang/fold and pull them into shape. Drift a hand over to take out fine wrinkles. Duvets? Really? Are you seriously ironing the bedclothes? One hacker I follow described folding as “ironing by proxy”. Save the steam iron for important outfits, work shirts and nights out. Ironing his shirts girls? It’s nearly 2019 — he can manage. Hang shirts up with 3-5cm between them with 2-3 buttons done up on a wood or plastic hanger to retain a pristine finish.

4. Dust and distract

An oldie and a goodie beloved of the 21st-century blogger. Set your phone and get to it for ten minutes. Play music while you clean off the kitchen cabinet fronts. Turn up that awful secret soap on TV you hide for fear of judgement and put 100% into the slender joys for 600 seconds. Organise a single drawer while the kettle boils. You’ll be embarrassed about how much you get done in your weekly ten-shifts.

5. Keep cleaning supplies where they are used

Spontaneous blitz cleans are a breeze when say the bathroom spray (eco or chemical) is right there in a cabinet with a nice soft, clean, cotton cloth. Think about upstairs and downstairs trugs. The best time to clean the shower — in the shower. Secure all those bottles and tins (even natural mixes) from little fingers — never take a chance.

6. Go wireless

James Dyson is no longer putting any R&D into corded vacuum cleaners and given the increase in power, convenience, versatility and running time across many brands — he’s right. I would argue for a powerful, wand machine upstairs and down in a large home. A great vacuum cleaner kept ready for action with HEPA filtration and a hose (if upright) is a third arm for all sorts of jobs.

7. Straighten up

That bore of a woman you met on a course in 1998 turns up for an over-night. Bound up to the spare room in three moves and snap the bed into crisp corners, and boot what you can’t take under the bed. Misleading signs of order include: Made beds, relatively clean carpets, a clean loo (no forgiveness here) and a smell-free kitchen. If you keep these chores done then surprise visits will hold no fear.

8. Speaking of beds

When you or your teenager strip the bed, keep all the items together through the wash and dry. Fold and place a full change into a designated, colour signalling envelope of one pillowcase. Put this nicely packaged change in place for each family member in the hot press or back in their room on a wardrobe shelf.

9. Stop buying storage solutions

Most cupboards, shelves, trunks and stacking boxes are bought to enable a domestic hoarding habit. If you have not worn that piece of clothing for a year, donate it. Top shelves heaving with dusty appliances, use them or get rid. We still use William Morris’s ancient golden rule, “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful”, because it still stands today. If you don’t use it or thoroughly enjoy it — set yourself free.