Deadline day hero not guaranteed

This is a world which demands instant gratification; one in which you can play guitar on a games consul rather than practise the real thing until your fingers bleed; one in which football chairmen cannot wait months let alone years for success — and one in which high-profile transfer deadline-day signings are expected to be heroes before they have unpacked their suitcases.

That is the pressure facing the likes of Mesut Ozil, Marouanne Fellaini and James McCarthy this weekend as they prepare to play for their new clubs for the first time since a much-hyped deadline day on which €166.5m was spent by Premier League clubs in a bid to buy instant success.

A record €750m was spent over the course of the summer and almost every match in this weekend’s line-up will feature a new man aiming to make a name for himself.

McCarthy and Gareth Barry could start for Everton against Chelsea (although on loan Romelu Lukaku is ineligible), Cardiff’s Peter Odemwingie is likely to be on the bench at Hull, West Brom’s Stephane Sessegnon and Victor Anichebe are in line to face Fulham, Aston Villa’s Libor Kozak is contention against Newcastle while Liverpool include Mamadou Sakho in their squad against Swansea and also have Victor Moses and Tiago Llori to choose from. No-one carries more of a burden of expectation of course than Ozil, the Arsenal record signing who is expected to play at Sunderland today and who, it is hoped, will have the same kind of impact on the north London club as talismanic signings of the past such as Dennis Bergkamp.

But Fellaini, as the only capture of what was a disappointing and rather disorganised transfer window at Old Trafford, has pressures of a different kind. At least at the Emirates, Ozil has the unanimous approval of supporters, even if many wished he hadn’t arrived alone, whereas there are plenty of dissenting voices in Manchester suggesting former Everton midfielder Fellaini ‘isn’t a United player’.

A home game against Crystal Palace should provide plenty of opportunity for early heroism — but also a distant threat of a banana skin; so what Fellaini cannot afford is a red card or an erratic performance on his debut.

Of course it is ludicrous for players — and particularly those who have never played in the Premier League — to be expected to hit the ground running after such a frenetic deadline day which was further complicated by international fixtures, meaning many new signings have barely trained alongside their new team-mates.

But football’s desire for instant rewards is only matched by its obsession with fairytales.

Regardless of the facts, which tend to show summer signings take a significant time to make an impact at a new club, you can guarantee fans across the country are dreaming of headlines today about the new boy hitting the winner in the last minute; and it is easy to be fooled into thinking such dramas are a regular occurrence, that Roy of the Rovers style debuts are not just the stuff of dreams but almost a guarantee.

But for Arsenal fans travelling to the Stadium of Light and United supporters heading to Old Trafford it’s worth pointing out the reality, in fact, is very different.

Last season, for instance, of the 13 most expensive and high-profile players who signed on transfer deadline day not a single one played in a victory for their new club in the following fixture — and not a single one scored.

Many of those players simply weren’t ready for action, others struggled to make an instant impact — such as Dimitar Berbatov who made his Fulham debut in a miserable 3-0 defeat at West Ham (a familiar tale for the Bulgarian who also signed for Man United on deadline day several years earlier and suffered a disastrous 2-1 defeat at Liverpool on debut in which Nemanja Vidic was sent off).

In 2011, Arsenal’s Mikel Arteta and Per Mertesacker enjoyed happier first days at school as the Gunners, relieved at making last-gasp signings, edged past Swansea 1-0. But again not a single transfer deadline day man hit the net — and poor David Ngog, just arrived at Bolton from Liverpool, barely touched the ball as his new side were thrashed 5-0 by Man United. You have to go all the way back to 2010 for a deadline-day hero when €15m man Asamoah Gyan scored on his debut for Sunderland (although his side were held 1-1 by lowly Wigan and had Lee Cattermole sent off).

Manchester City’s Robinho also scored in his first game following a deadline-day arrival from Madrid — but City were beaten 3-1 at home by Chelsea.

In fact the only real Roy of the Rovers transfer deadline day hero in the last seven years, a man who scored and won three points on debut, is a rather unlikely one — Blackpool striker DJ Campbell.

When you consider Campbell arrived from Leicester on a free transfer that year and was already known to Blackpool fans, having played there on loan the previous season, then you can see even he doesn’t quite fit the bill.

So don’t underestimate the task facing Ozil and Fellaini today — let alone Gareth Bale who is guaranteed a debut for Real Madrid against Villarreal following a record transfer from Tottenham.

If there is to be fairytale hero this weekend then, of course, the story should be treasured; but even €166.5m cannot guarantee we get one.