The year in quotes, gaffes, double standards and hypocrisy
BLUSTER: FIFA President Gianni Infantino during a press conference at the Main Media Centre, Doha. Picture: Nick Potts/PA Wire.
Phil Mickelson, February, on the Saudi LIV golf breakaway. “They’re scary motherfuckers to get involved with. They killed Khashoggi and have a horrible record on human rights. They execute people over there for being gay. Knowing all of this, why would I even consider it? Because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reshape how the PGA Tour operates.”
Asked about the 81 people killed in one day by Newcastle’s new owners. “I’m just going to answer questions about football. I’m still bitterly disappointed about the defeat.”
Among the early highlights from the high court in May, reported live by the Guardian’s Jim Waterson: “Rooney’s lawyer claims WhatsApp messages that would show the leaking of stories to the Sun are on a phone dropped off the side of a boat. He says it is now ‘lying at the bottom of sea in Davy Jones’ locker’. Vardy asks the court: ‘Who is Davy Jones?’ The judge intervenes.”
Plus: “David Sherborne, acting for Rooney: ‘What does FFS stand for?’.
Vardy: ‘Can I?’.
Judge: ‘Yes.’
Vardy: ‘For fuck’s sake.’
Sherborne confirms he just wanted to check he understood. This is day one of a seven day trial.”
Gianni Infantino, Fifa president, who ended November’s 57-minute “Today I feel gay” routine with arms outstretched comparing himself to Jesus. “Crucify me, I’m here for that.”
Among the Fifa head’s other big moments in another solid year of football administration:
- Telling a global capitalism conference in LA in May why Qatar’s migrant workers caught up in modern slavery and abuse should, on balance, just be more grateful. “When you give work to somebody, even in hard conditions, you give dignity and pride. It’s not charity. You don’t make charity.”
- Telling the Council of Europe in January how his lucrative plan for an expanded World Cup every two years was actually motivated by stopping African migrants finding “death in the sea … We need to give hope to Africans so that they don’t need to cross the sea to find maybe a better life.” After feedback Infantino said his remarks had “been taken out of context … It was just a general comment.”
- And refusing to take action against Russia after the Ukraine invasion until public opinion became too hot – U-turning 24 hours later. Asked if he’d hand back the friendship medal Vladimir Putin awarded him in 2019, Infantino told media: “It’s not about individuals.”
Belonged to delegates at the International Anti-Corruption Excellence Awards – hosted in Doha in December by Qatar’s Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad al-Thani. The awards featured a new category for 2022: “Safeguarding Sports from Corruption”, with Infantino presenting the prize. Sheikh Tamin told delegates that corruption was “the scourge that harms the public interest”.
David Beckham in August, on the real Qatar: “Qatar really is an incredible place to spend a few days on a stopover. The modern and traditional fuse to create something really special. It’s one of the best spice markets that I’ve ever been to. This will go down as one of my favourite mornings. This is perfection.”
Novak Djokovic’s dad, Srdjan – mediating in last January’s row between his unvaccinated son and Australian immigration. Srdjan told the press: “Tonight they can throw him in a dungeon, tomorrow they can put him in chains. Novak is the Spartacus of the new world which won’t tolerate injustice, colonialism and hypocrisy.”
His broader point, when he’d calmed down: “Jesus was crucified and everything was done to him, and he endured, he is still alive among us. They crucify Novak the same way.”
Matt Le Tissier, exposing how the same people who faked Covid and covered up Hunter Biden’s laptop also faked atrocities in Ukraine using “crisis actors”. He clarified later: “I do not advocate war in any shape or form,” then stepped down as a Southampton ambassador to focus on “the work I believe in”.
Barred in name at February’s Winter Olympics due to state-sponsored doping, but still managing to register the Games’ first doping scandal. Journalists who revealed the story about skater Kamila Valieva received death threats while Vladimir Putin hit out at the smears. “Through her work Kamila has raised sport to the level of true art.”
F1’s Bernie Ecclestone. Feeling put out in June by the backlash after telling Good Morning Britain: “I’d take a bullet for Putin, because he’s a first-class person.” Nine days later: “I’m sorry if anything I said has upset anybody.”
Finally cutting through to the news pages in 2022: “Chess grandmaster accused of anal bead tactic ‘cheated over 100 times’” (Metro, October); “Cheat row erupts at World Conker Championships – but it’s not like anal-bead chess plot” (Daily Star). Plus, not bead-related: “Chess robot grabs and breaks finger of seven-year-old opponent” (Guardian, July).
Came in August after Southend signed a stand-naming deal with estate agents Gilbert & Rose, making it “the Gilbert & Rose West Stand”. Chairman Ron Martin: “It’s unfortunate and really disappointing … I suspect that the people in our commercial department were not born at the time of that tragedy so I guess that’s why that’s happened. We’re changing it to ‘the West Stand sponsored by Gilbert And Rose’.”
New Zealand doubles player Michael Venus, asked about opponent Nick Kyrgios’s Australian Open display in January. “There will always be his supporters and he’ll always spin it in a way that helps him. But at the end of the day, he’s just an absolute knob.”
a) Finnish cross-country skier Remi Lindholm suffered a frozen penis in 50km race in February: “It was one of the worst competitions I’ve been in.”
And b) Eritrea’s Biniam Girmay celebrated his first stage win at the Giro d’Italia in May by firing a champagne cork into his eye causing a haemorrhage, putting him out of the rest of the tour. Girmay called it “a bad moment” but “still, I’m happy. See you soon.”
Came for marathon runner Eric Kiptanui, forced to sit out the Commonwealth Games men’s race after Kenyan officials entered the wrong Eric for the event. Eric Kiplagat Sang, a non-marathon runner, wasn’t in Birmingham at the time. Kiptanui: “This is painful, it’s simply bad. People must take their work seriously.”
Came from West Ham, “unreservedly” condemning Kurt Zouma for kicking his cat, then starting him a day later. David Moyes said Zouma started the game “because he is one of our better players … And I stand by that.”
Among the year’s online missteps:
February: Uefa, sponsored by Gazprom, failing to unschedule a timed tweet announcing ‘HAPPY THURSDAY EVERYONE!’ on the day Russia invaded Ukraine.
New Zealand Rugby’s official Twitter account celebrating International Women’s Day in March without mentioning their world champion women’s team. @AllBlacks: “Forever grateful to all the women in our lives that allow us to play the game we love. Partners, mothers, daughters, doctors, physios, referees, administrators and fans. Appreciate you every day.” The tweet featured a photo of All Blacks winger Sevu Reece, fined in 2018 for assaulting his girlfriend.
The Chicago Bears tweeting a Happy #StPatricksDay image in March in which they Photoshopped the usual green dye in the Chicago River into Bears orange. They deleted it inside an hour after feedback.
And @Lord_Sugar, tweeting during the Women’s Euros in July [all sic]: “I am watching the women football and notice that ALL the comentators are women. I also note when mens football is on there is a symobilic female commentator to cover the broadcasters arse. Should I complain there should me a male commentator in women’s football?” #Symobilic trended.
Ending the hire-and-fire culture at their clubs in 2022: Watford CEO Scott Duxbury in June, drawing a line under their past record to focus on stability: “In Rob Edwards we’ve appointed a manager we all totally believe in, a manager who can lead and drive that culture change. We will support him – come hell or high water.”
Sep 26: Sacks him.
Genoa president Alberto Zangrillo, pledging no more of the whim-based sackings which had been a trademark of his predecessor Enrico Preziosi.
24 Dec 2021: “When we hired Andriy Shevchenko we didn’t do it because he was someone’s pal or for some other daft reason, we did it with deep thought. He’s a Ballon d’Or winner, he’s rigorous, he’s serious, he’s made a big life decision to leave a stimulating city to come to us. The people love Andriy. We back Andriy. I love Andriy.”
Jan 15, 2022: He sacks Andriy.
Michael Beale, 20 Oct, snubbing Wolves to stay at QPR: “Integrity and loyalty are big things for me, and if they are the values you live by you have to be strong. I’ve been all-in here and I’ve asked other people to be all-in, so I can’t be the first person to run away from the ship.”
28 Nov: Joins Rangers.
Learning experiences of the year
The Mirror, August: “Athlete comes last in 400m race after penis falls out of shorts”. Alberto Nonino said his decision to “run without pants” at the World Athletics Under-20 Championships in Colombia was “a mistake … I’m thankful to my friends and family for helping me get over it.”
And the BBC blaming a trainee-related “technical glitch with our test ticker rolling over to live programming” after the breaking news scroll announced in May: “Manchester United are rubbish.”
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