Let’s celebrate Haaland as an exceptional human, not some weird mutant
HUMAN: Manchester City's Erling Haaland. Pic: PA
It was a powerful header by Casemiro that equalised for Manchester United, deep into injury time and it was the sweet, sweet icing on the cake for a player who had played a great game, a player who has made a career out of never knowing when he is beaten. Across the 90 minutes, he was everywhere, doing what is essentially the dirty work, work that too few players will do so diligently. Looking like a tough middle-weight boxer, he just storms around the pitch disrupting the opposition, putting out fires before they even start. Sitting in front of Lisandro Martinez, they have given United so much solidity. Those of us who doubted Martinez because of his height at 5’ 10” were wrong. He was tremendous at Chelsea in the centre of defence. Aggressive, he’s not content to just break up play, he snaps at the opposition, steals the ball and moves it forward immediately. Last season, United would have lost this Chelsea game, however, slowly but surely, they are looking cohesive and redoubtable. Two qualities that have long been in short supply - these two players are axiomatic to that development.
After last week’s win over Manchester City and their recent revival, this was a poor performance by Liverpool. They dominated possession 76% to 24% and had seven shots on target but could not match Forest’s sheer enthusiasm for the game. You get a feeling about some matches sometimes and as unlikely as a home win seemed at kick-off, the City Ground was absolutely bouncing and the side well-organised and very determined. They started with a 4-3-3 in possession but which was more often a 4-5-1 out of possession and that helped suppress Liverpool’s engine room. After 64 minutes they went to a back five to hold onto their lead and did it superbly well. They had two ex-Liverpool players in their line-up in goalscorer Taiwo Awoniyi and Neco Williams and Steve Cooper had coached Trent Alexander-Arnold at Liverpool’s academy. Somehow, the Forest win felt destined to be, was deserved and was celebrated with great gusto by a righteous noisy City Ground.
For fans of goalkeeping, this was the game of the season to watch. Both Nottingham Forest’s Dean Henderson and Liverpool’s Alisson had absolutely brilliant games, each pulling off a succession of almost miraculous saves. Henderson’s seven stops won the game for Forest. His final one, left-handed from Mo Salah in the last minute, was simply remarkable. Alisson’s performance saved Liverpool going down to a heavier defeat. Given it was a high profile game, it will be a reminder to Gareth Southgate of what an excellent keeper Dean Henderson is, a fact that got obscured by a wasted year on the bench at Manchester United but which he had well proved at Sheffield United.
With two more strikes against Brighton, making 22 goals in just 14 games for Manchester City, Eerling Haaland's statistics are more than impressive, they're almost unbelievable. He’s also scored nine international goals in eight games in 2022. Pep Guardiola knows he can keep playing Haaland in almost every game until the World Cup break in the knowledge it will give his Norwegian striker five weeks off, so even more goals seem inevitable before the 13th November break. However, the manner in which Haaland’s performance is being described is beginning to be troubling. Words like ‘freak’, ‘cheat code’, ‘robot’ and even ‘he's not human’ are being used. I’ve used some of them myself and already feel uncomfortable about it. But we need to think a bit more about what we say because all of those words are somewhat insulting to the 22-year-old, they dehumanise and ‘other’ him. While they might not be intended to, he is only a young man and how would any of us like to be described in such terms? He is a regular lad albeit one with a remarkable talent, remarkable precisely because he is human and we must be mindful to remember he is not some sort of circus act. He’s going through a purple patch, but history tells us he won’t always have it so good and he will suffer the same vicissitudes of life that we all go through. So let’s celebrate him for being an exceptional human, not some sort of weird mutant.
Manchester United had the better of the Blues in the first 35 minutes until Graham Potter decided to change tactics, took off Marc Cucurella and brought on Kovacic so that Chelsea could match United’s 4-1-4-1. It worked. In the rest of the game, Chelsea had the upper hand until the injury-time equaliser from Casemiro. While he didn’t win the game, such important decisions garner Potter much acclaim. In-game substitutions and tactical shifts tend to separate the management wheat from the chaff. The best are great at it. Potter has a way to go yet, but there is no doubting he is the up-and-coming shining star of English management. It was his 44th day as Blues boss but unlike Liz Truss on her 44th day, he managed to end it without being told to get out for being shamelessly deluded and utterly useless. He’s yet to lose a game in charge of Chelsea and the step up from Brighton to the elite level is proving well within his capabilities.
Remember how VAR was supposed to put an end to players being in uproar over decisions? It has never happened. Tottenham’s players surrounded the referee when Newcastle scored their first. Why are players doing that? There’s no point. The ref has zero power. He’s just a conduit for Stockley Park. He does what he’s told. So there’s no point in barking in his face like an aggravated Alsation. But still they do it. Footballers and many managers seem addicted to conflict and can’t help themselves shouting the odds at the officials. Haven’t they watched any football recently? No referee has ever looked at the baying mob and said “Ah sorry, lads, your shouting has persuaded me you are right.” Yet, every game it seems to happen. As it turned out, VAR got it wrong (again). By the rules of the game, Callum Wilson fouled the Spurs keeper. As former England keeper Ben Foster stated “The goalkeeper is the player in control of the ball, if he beats the striker to the ball, and the striker is in the way, unfortunately it’s a foul. There’s nothing the striker can do about it, but it’s still a foul!" He is obviously correct. Is it too much for the VAR to know the rules of the game? It seemed so, as he didn’t award a penalty for an Emerson Royal handball where his arm was in an unnatural position. But then no-one knows what is handball any more. If anything is in an unnatural position it is VAR. There is no game it cannot stain with its ludicrous decisions.
What on earth has happened to Aston Villa? It was as though the absence of Steven Gerrard had liberated the team. They played without inhibition against Brentford. The previously hapless, failing, out-of-ideas team now played with style and penetration. Three up after 14 minutes, it proved once again that football is chaos and anyone who thinks they understand the first thing about it is deluded. It was as though an entirely different team was playing to the one that had been defeated 3-0 by Fulham midweek. Leon Bailey was especially good, opened the scoring and was a menace all afternoon. When he joined from Bayer Leverkusen in 2021 it was something of a coup for Villa but they seemed to have knocked all of the youth and excitement out of him ever since. However, on Saturday he was rampant, playing as an old-fashioned winger. Villa are apparently chasing Sporting Lisbon manager Rúben Amorim to replace Gerrard. It would be an expensive gamble. Sean Dyche is second favourite for the job and looks a better bet to avoid relegation. Villa fans will hope that whoever takes over can pull more performances out of the squad like this.
That’s two points out of the last potential 24 for Leeds. Jesse Marsch is an engaging character but I fear he may not be in charge of the team for much longer, despite assurances from the board. Like all failing managers he’s had some bad luck. He could have expected Patrick Bamford to return and start scoring but he’s missed a few good chances that may have turned games and results around. They look decent going forward but defensively, they just can’t hold a lead. Fulham were too aggressive and physical for them. If Aston Villa don’t employ Sean Dyche, Leeds probably will.
How do you score against Arsenal? Well, Southampton did it by playing like their opponents. Their equalising goal by Stuart Armstrong was a delicious passing movement that out Arsenal-ed Arsenal. Southampton are such an interesting side. They are in 15th and once again flirting with relegation. However, they can hold their own with some of the best sides at home. They beat Chelsea back in August and gave the Gunners a very good game. In some ways they are a template for the top flight clubs whose only aim is to avoid relegation, teams that will rarely if ever make the European places and rarely if ever have a long cup run. They have a clearly identifiable way of playing which, when it works, is very easy on the eye indeed. This is how Ralph Hassenhutl has survived many severe beatings. The club seems to accept this will be the case and trades them against performances such as those against the Blues and Arsenal. It’s a pragmatic and an unusually sensible decision for a Premier League club to make.
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