Graham Cummins: Will I become a pushy parent on the touchline? Hopefully not

Football Dreams: The Academy goes behind the scenes at Crystal Palace. 

It’s often debated; how much involvement is too much when it comes to parents and their children in sport? It is a difficult question to answer. Parents want the best for their children. Everything a parent does is for the right reason.

But parents are often criticised for the way they behave on a sideline when their child is on the pitch. Some are labelled ‘pushy’ or judged for heaping too much pressure on their child. In some cases, encouragement is doing more harm than good.

As a parent of a two-and-a-half year old; I often wonder what I will be like as a dad on the sidelines? Will I be able to stand back and allow my child to play freely and let them follow the instructions of their manager or coach? Or because I have played at a reasonably good level will I feel that I know better than others. I’d like to think it is the former but I have not been in the position. 

It’s difficult to criticise a parent who shows too much emotion at their child’s match, when I have never been in that position. Parents get too involved because they love their child and believe they are doing what is best for them.

Many parents revert to their childhood when they consider the coaching their child is receiving. Thinking about my own; it was turning up on a Sunday morning and seeing what parent wanted to volunteer to take the team, rather than finding the best person for the job. That was almost 30 years ago and there was no plan when it came to training sessions or matches. It was a case of putting down four cones to make goals at either end of a pitch and finding a suitable ball.

Football has evolved at all levels and the requirements to be a coach of any age group is more rigorous now. Managers and coaches, of all levels and ages, seem to hold coaching badges. Of course having a coaching badge doesn't mean you know everything about the game, but it gives me more confidence there is reasoning behind training methods and ways of improving children. Parents should be more confident that a manager knows what is best for their child.

With all the talk of the All or Nothing: Arsenal documentary on Amazon Prime, a more insightful programme has gone under the radar. Channel 4’s Football Dreams: The Academy is a documentary that goes behind the scenes at the Crystal Palace academy and helps answer that question in the opening line of this column. The show follows a group of young boys from the ages of eight to 18, allowing viewers to gain insight into what is required of players at such a young age, and what effect their parents can have.

it is clear from the episodes so far that parents need to be involved to some degree when it comes to their child in sport but must take a backseat and allow the coaches to do their job when it comes to matches and training. And it's clear that Premier League clubs are not impressed by a player who is constantly navigating to their parents during a game. The so-called ‘pushy’ parents in the show may be doing what they believe is best for their child, but it is obvious the coaches do not share their enthusiasm for becoming overinvolved.

I never got to be part of a professional environment growing up. Watching this programme, I’m glad I didn’t because it is a tough environment to develop in. When I first arrived in England, what struck me was the selfishness of most players. All that mattered was what was good for them and not the team. Their priority was getting that next contract and now I can understand why. The documentary shows just how much pressure is on children in professional academies from such an early age, where there is constant fear you won't be among those kept on. 

It is noticeable too that the coaches at Crystal Palace appeared to be looking first at their young players' attitudes. Ability seemed to come second. My big takeaway for parents wanting to guide their child's sporting life is to ensure their child has the right attitude. That might simply mean always encouraging after setbacks, to make sure they keep going. 

As parents we see our children being the best at everything they touch, but we must try and keep them grounded when it comes to sport and to respect their teammates and those in charge. Clubs don't like to see players who are always looking for some excuse when things go wrong, no matter how talented they are. 

Football Dreams shows parents there is plenty they can do to guide their child along well away from the training pitch where they should let the coach do their job.