Danger Here: ‘The whole pack of cards has gone into reverse’
Gary Neville: Dissected some problems with United’s defence.
Leon Osman was all hearth:
“El Ghazi has taken on the mantelpiece.”
Lee Hendrie venerates Lee Mason the higher power:
“When he blows the whistle that gives you the divine right to take the free kick.”
Tony Cascarino questioned how well Neil Lennon played the hand he was dealt:
"The whole pack of cards has gone into reverse.”
Martin Keown had been studying the defensive heritage of Leicester City:
“There’s a history of left-backs, isn’t there, at this football club.”
Five Live were first with news of outrageous controversy in the women’s Champions League:
“The 10 men of Chelsea beat Atletico Madrid.”
Joe Cole was thinking outside the box:
"Anywhere else on the pitch and that's a penalty.”
Gary Neville cut his old club wide open:
“It’s a brilliant cross that just dissects the Manchester United full-backs.”
As far as Ian Darke is concerned there’s nothing worse than a striker who doesn’t reply to an RSVP:
“It was an open invitation, but it was an invitation that, er, wasn’t opened.”
Hitting the post doesn’t mean much to philosophical Andy Cole:
“You know the woodwork, Kelly, it is what it is.”
Ray Hudson on Luis Suárez’ opener against Real:
"Llorente skips the light fantastic and puts it into Luis in the sky with diamonds. Suárez is Suavecito here, with a beautiful dispatch, as soft as the clap of a butterfly's wings.”
Benzema’s leveller: "He wriggles through, slipperier than a trout in a dishwasher.”
And last week’s Messi worldie: “Messi with the kaleidoscope eyes does it his way. He's handing out chocolates to the defenders as he goes by. Slippery as an ice cube on the top of an oven. More twists and turns than a cheap garden hose."
Paul Merson wouldn’t take off Mo Salah:
"Even if he's dragging his foot around, walking like Herr Flick out of Allo Allo, he's got to stay on for me.”
Glentoran’s Twitter account produced the wrongest goal description in football history:
“Rory Donnelly flicks the ball onto Conor McMenamin who chips Aaron Hogg with a header.”
The Simon Jordan population census:
"Manchester has 550,000, Liverpool has 500,000. But Bristol....that's got half a million!"
Paul Merson: "No one wins anything winning 5-4 every week"
Steve McManaman has spotted a pattern:
“The better West Ham have been, the better their performance has been.”
Russell Fuller diagnoses:
“His back problem seems to be behind him.”
Graham Hunter decides:
"Objectively, this has been my favourite game."
Rob Walker blows hot and cold:
“Put the kettle on and crack open a cold one.”
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