Good things come to those who wait.
In a sport riddled with cliché, you try to swerve them as much as possible — but truthfully, I couldn’t think of anything else.
They’re still putting us through it, aren’t they?
This should’ve been the mother of all thrashings as early as the 50th minute, but no — that would be too easy, too normal.
Mo could have converted his child’s-level chance, but where’s the fun in that? Far better leaving it to the final kick.
It’s OK, I didn’t need a pulse anyway. Low blood pressure is for wimps. Or maybe we just expect too much of these supermen nowadays?
Now that calmness reigns (after a fashion) and I know it’s difficult, but everyone really needs to simmer down a tad.
The outside world can go full-on screw-loose on our behalf.
Not a day goes by without a headline about City concentrating on cups, how it’s ‘obviously’ all over, goading and tempting us in equal measure.
It’s a good lead, I wish it was even long bigger. Don’t get sucked in, though.
Klopp’s earned enough of our respect to copy his example.
You know full well that if we were 21 points ahead with seven games left, the only words out of his mouth would be “goal difference”.
And that’s exactly how it should be.
I’m fully aware of how deranged this all sounds, but everyone else hasn’t been waiting 30 years for this kind of season.
Imagine how it’ll sound if you start showing off and 2020 turns septic — a lot, lot worse.
I feel queasy even talking about Champions League places, to be honest. Chelsea, Arsenal and co are forever stumbling, so that might seem a realistic target to confirm, but don’t you dare do it. The Gods are watchful, stealthy, suspicious.
This chronic mistrust even stretches to our opponents.
Rashford’s injured, eh? Riiiight. “No, he is, really”. Suuuuuure.
“He was limping around Old Trafford on Wednesday, didn’t you see? Are you saying Solskjaer would stage a fraudulent breakdown just to deceive Liverpool?” Yes, that’s exactly what I’m sayi- … deranged, right?
Don’t seek out common sense from football supporters. The WHO may not have officially confirmed it as an illness, but they must have considered it occasionally.
You may be sore and exasperated with Man City fans especially evoking VAR as the cause of all ills. After yesterday, they wouldn’t dare, surely?
Even so, I guarantee that if we’d had any modern success put down solely to cash, we’d be on the lookout for quick retaliation, too. You can’t really use the phrase ‘tarnished trophies’ yourself and expect no comeback whatsoever.
Also, no-one wants the title race to be over, that explains a lot of the rancour. What I do know is that nobody else wants us to win the thing. That isn’t a chip on a shoulder, that’s a fact.
A lot of this season’s results have been close calls, reminiscent of the 1970s and 1980s.
The final rollcall of honours makesde it look like an imperious procession, but most of it wasn’t.
There were lots of last-day title triumphs.
One — 1976 — changed hands in the final 15 minutes. I’d rather they wouldn’t put us through all that this time around but beggars, choosers etc.
So obviously United were going to stay in this game far longer than they ought. This is how we’re doing it this year.
I could name nearly a dozen of their modern strikers (Rashford for one) who could have put this game beyond our reach if they’d been on the pitch in the second half.
That’s only because we’re not finishing teams off ourselves. It’s a concern, but with a 16, possibly 19-point lead, it’s one we can just about tolerate.
And Salah got us there in the end with his (dare I say it) Michael Thomas style goal.
Oh my God, that one was a title clincher, wasn’t it?
Nice going, bigmouth … ...