Terrace Talk: Transfer window can’t close soon enough

Happy now? Happier certainly, but you don’t want to become one of those people whose mood rises or falls via football, surely? What rancid, festering hell is that?

Best to keep vigilant. You do that with a decent memory of how Liverpool screwed you up in the past.

“No worries, he signed his new contract months ago, he won’t leave for Barcelona. ” Remember that golden gasser?

Or how about “we’ve won this qualifier’s first leg away; it’ll be a stroll now”? They could still put you through it even with cast-iron certainty.

It was a good win against Hoffenheim but that pen goes in and it’s a different picture. Maybe this is the path to follow? Victory, with misgivings; that way, no-one gets too cocky.

Then Palace, winner of their previous three visits and with big bad Benteke in tow. With our back four and his record here, someone should’ve called the police. They’d only have told you a crime hadn’t been committed — yet.

In fairness they kept him down to one decent chance, which he launched Pluto-wards, while at the other end it became a traditional Reds v Visiting Goalkeeper siege.

Mane finally broke him, triggering a surge of silent prayer that Barcelona somehow haven’t cottoned on to him yet.

Robertson had a great game. With debutants there’s a tendency to blind-eye any mistakes but he was genuinely good going forward, which is all Klopp will have noticed if he still believes Moreno has a future here.

Don’t get too attached, though. He’s a left back, this is Anfield. We’ll soon squeeze all that competence malarkey out of him.

There was brief respite for Salah but none for Mane and here’s where the trouble will stem. They already look sort of, well, integral.

Liverpool spent the summer chasing big stars, or said they did. Klopp’s breezy dismissal of any Plan B places him front and centre of this fiasco.

You only have to think back to January when they had their last fixture overload. One win, a replay against Plymouth, which wouldn’t have been necessary if there’d been a decent squad in the first place.

It’s okay buying shiny baubles to hang in the shop window; you need good staff in the backroom too.

We’ve been biting our nails at the end of all three games so far, breathed a sigh of relief after two of them. That’s a good ratio, for the team if not the blood pressure.

It’d be nice to revert to some of Anfield’s easier strolls last season, but with Hoffenheim and Arsenal to come, that seems fanciful.

Then there are internationals and the end of a tedious, exhausting transfer window. It can’t come soon enough.

Barcelona and Coutinho linger like a bad odour. Whatever you think of ‘mas que un club’ (and I can’t stand them, personally) you’d have to say they’re being pretty ridiculous here.

It’s the same bid over and over, with ever more ridiculous add-ons; if he scores loads of goals, if he wins the Balon D’Or, if he ever puts the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp, we get paid.

Over a five-year period, naturally. As increasingly ludicrous details seep out, they’re actually boxing FSG into a corner. They accept this, they are in trouble.

Who knows? Perhaps even in football ‘no’ can mean “NO”, and not “pay more” as is its usual nuance.

Barcelona’s idiotic self-imposed deadline passed yesterday. They said they won’t be back. They probably will.

I’m fairly ambivalent. He’s no Suarez, maybe we can do some deals like in 2011 when Torres left? Only this time make sure you get two great players for the money, yeah? Not one genius and a Geordie wardrobe with feet.

You get the sense the club wants to pass off keeping Coutinho as a triumph, to mask all other failings.

Good luck with that one.