TERRACE TALK: Man United - Plenty to appreciate in scoreless siege

After the recent extraordinary Stoke match at Old Trafford, we consoled ourselves that the draw had just been One Of Those Games, and that was probably our season’s allocation now used up.

“Not so fast, matey,” the footballing gods must’ve growled; “how about another one, where you create 50% more chances, against a goalkeeper twice as brilliant, with your forwards being triply profligate? How will you like them apples, then?”

Actually, they were quite tasty. In a list of all-time gripping nil-nils, Saturday’s riotous and occasionally blood-pumping afternoon must come pretty near the top. Many of us would take more of that over most of what we’ve seen since 2013 all day long, in spite of the infuriating red cards and penalty decisions.

Of course, for a large and twitterly-vocal minority, failing to score from 37 chances - 37! - will have justified one bedwetting hack at The Sun describing it as a “meltdown” and a “horror show”. Let us dismiss them all as a basket of deplorables and move on, for there was plenty to appreciate. The work-in-progress - there’s that phrase again - continues apace. A team that moves together as United did on Saturday, and creates that many chances, really ought not to have anything to worry about.

Naturally, we might not have been so generously inclined had we been coming off the back of a derby defeat midweek. But Wednesday night’s triumph had stiffened many a Red backbone for what is likely to be an edgy winter, although it didn’t seem to have done grumpy José’s mood that much good.

For a man who has finally got the job he has craved for so many years, and who expended such an amount of intellectual and emotional energy during his six-month campaign to acquire it, he doesn’t seem to be enjoying it very much, does he? Tough though it must be to be apart from his wife and living out of a suitcase, the easy solution to that issue lies entirely in his hands, after all. One is tempted to mutter ‘get a grip and man up’, not least as manning up is what he told some of this players to do last week. Goose, gander, sauce.

Speaking of fat poultry heading for a Christmas execution... what a turkey of a substitute’s performance that was from Wayne Rooney. Zlatan’s baffling goalless streak had caused some Reds to wonder whether it might have come in the nick of time for the man some call The FSC (don’t ask), in that an argument could be made for giving Wayne a chance up front and Zlatan a rest.

Ten minutes watching poor Rooney blunder about disabused most of that notion. Zlatan’s misses have been copiously awful, but his general teamplay remains streets ahead of anything Rooney could now offer in his place. Optimistic Reds continue to expect an eventual Andy Cole-style ‘click’ from the Swede, à la Ipswich 1995.

Some mysteries do remain, admittedly. No-one understands why Mickey the Armenian isn’t getting a chance, for example, especially now that we know he is fully fit. We still can’t quite work out where Pogba will be best, although his impressive second half on Saturday seemed to point to something. And then there’s the Carrick dilemma; he clearly continues to offer something unique to the team when selected, yet equally clearly is not a player Mourinho was expecting to be here much longer - I am told José has barely spoken to him since September.

Thus understandably, BBC pundit Mark Lawrenson declared at full-time on Saturday that Mourinho “still doesn’t know his best team”, and it’s easy to believe that this may well be true. We do at least think we now know Mata and Herrera will be starters in it, about which this Hispanophile correspondent is particularly pleased.

“How long does he need, FFS?” will grumble some, and it’s a fair question. For a man who built a reputation on having an instant effect at clubs, November must surely seem a teeny bit late in the day to be making one’s mind up...”