Jose can talk ball boy bull ’til the cows come home

Newcastle 2 Chelsea 1

Pull the udder one, Jose. The Chelsea manager is renowned for talking a good game, but surpassed his own high standards of verbosity as he took chewing the cud to almost literal levels after his side’s first defeat since April.

In the wake of a contest where, in one of football’s more unlikely conspiracy theories, Mourinho bizarrely accused the ball boys of complicity in a concerted effort to waste time in Newcastle’s increasingly desperate efforts to defend their single goal lead, Mourinho was asked if he would encourage a similar course of action at Stamford Bridge, should the title depended on it.