Germany won’t settle for draw, says Ozil

Mesut Ozil has brushed aside any suggestions that Germany would be involved in another ‘biscotto’ affair and manufacture a convenient draw against the United States in Recife today.

The two countries would both progress to the last 16 with a point each, and to make matters more enticing for conspiracy theorists, the two coaches are close friends and former colleagues.

Furthermore the USA team is coached by a German, Jurgen Klinsmann, and contains five German-American players, GI babies who are a legacy of the US army’s presence in the old West Germany.