The week in guff
Bright spark Niall Quinn: “Torres, sharp like a light...”
Roy Hodgson may bring a psychologist to Brazil, to counsel his psychologist: “I don’t think you should put too much pressure on psychologists.”
Quinny took flight: “Salah free as a bird out on the right wings.”
This thing is bigger than Barnsley, reckoned Danny Wilson: “If that’s a booking, we’ve got a problem in English sport.”
Jeff Stelling felt the new Leeds owner was being a little bit hard on himself: “Massimo Cellino has won his appeal against being a fit and proper person.”
Ian Darke’s sixth sense: “You get the feeling that if City win their remaining league games, they will be crowned champions.”
David Pleat still hasn’t recovered from last week: “I’ve never had so much excitement on mothering day.”
At St James’ Park on Saturday, the Setanta cameras panned early doors to two men — whose glory days are a little behind them — chatting animately in the stands. Commentator Jon Champion was quick to identify one: “Brendan Foster, very keen Newcastle fan, watching on there...” The other, who’s been lying low lately, escaped detection: Bertie Ahern.
Nemanja Matic didn’t get the memo: “People who say Chelsea don’t have any good strikers don’t know anything about football.”
Headline of the week from The Sun, breaking word of Costel Pantilimon’s big plans for first team football: ‘Pant’s off in Search of Action’
Not so impressive from The Sun; Wayne Rooney made yesterday’s Premier League Team of the Weekend, despite not playing against Newcastle.
Alan McInally got his chops around the Southampton striker: “Lickie Rambert.”
Guy Mowbray on the David Luiz-Charlie Adam battle: “Pure Portuguese versus broad Glaswegian.”
Charlie Adam is from Dundee.
Caller to Talksport’s Extra Time put a swift end to the Moyesy revival talk: “This guy is the worst Manchester United manager I’ve ever seen and I’m 18 years old.”
Ray Hudson on Messi: “As merciless as Kathy Bates with a sledgehammer.”
Ed Chamberlain: “Arsenal are still favourites to finish fourth.”
Glenn Hoddle: “But I think that’s just from the bookmakers’ point of view.”
Ian ‘Moose’ Abrahams of Talksport was pushed out of his comfort zone following Chelsea to Paris: “I didn’t eat frogs legs last night. I had a pizza because I don’t eat foreign food.”
Dirk Nannes at the World Twenty20: “The Dutch don’t have any professional players and he’s one of them.”
Precision commentary at the Tour of Flanders: “98k to go — that’s inside the final 100k.”
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