TERRACE TALK: Whatever else we may be, we ain’t dull

At least we settled one issue definitively yesterday: our grasping Commercial Department can now announce that the new Official Scapegoat Partner of MUFC is Tom Cleverley.

You can tell how low his stock comments on match goers’ websites read like this: “I know he’s been fairly shit so far but surely Fellaini is a better choice than Cleverley under literally any circumstance?”

Others preferred to look on the bright side: “Remembering how often we’ve looked a shambles when Carrick has been missing in the past, we’ve done alright in his absence this week.”

Well, quite (and RVP’s been off poorly too, let’s not forget). Three countries visited in one week, and we’re still unbeaten in a dozen games. There’s also the small matter of a sensational, historic triumph in Germany, the likes of which Fergie could only have dreamed about at his peak.

Whilst in positive mode, let’s add this: have you been bored for one second this week? We’ve seen 13 goals, and enjoyed two games that took us from heights to depths to heights, sandwiching one bravura classic. For years, we’ve had whole stretches of seasons that barely raised our blood pressure to “mildly engaged”. Now we’re arterially-pumping every few days as games unfurl in ways few can predict to general mystification yet also some delight.

Of course, there is some disappointment with the way yesterday’s scrap got away from us. I’m not going to dispute the argument that, having put on some offensive subs, Moyes failed to change the team plan sufficiently. If you’re going to field attackers, get them to do some actual attacking.

Moreover Smalling at full-back is a nightmare that somehow keeps being allowed to recur and Ashley Young recurring is never welcome at the best of times.

But I spent yesterday lunchtime in a state of permanent excitement, which is not something an Englishman gets to say very often. I predicted three draws this week so I’m feeling well ahead of the game. We beat Leverkusen 5-0. Over there. In a game that really mattered with the pressure on. Now, when you’ve seen something like that you don’t forget it. You summon it up when you need to, as proof to show we can do it.

Fergie had one of those days 23 years ago. Arsenal away, in the League Cup, when we still gave a toss about the trophy. Bear in mind this was mere months from the period when, supposedly, Alex on the verge of being sacked and champions-to-be Arsenal hadn’t been beaten in eons.

We won, ludicrously, 6-2, and saw a glimpse of what could be. That team still had trials of fire to undergo and was still two and a half years away from becoming champions but it was something that stuck with us, that gave us faith.

Maybe Leverkusen will be Moyes’ 6-2 or maybe it will prove to be a fluke. All I know is that even turkeys get until Christmas, so let’s get behind him for now, eh?

Everton are visiting next, which is going to be hyped beyond its natural status because of the Moyesian aspects and will be awkward.

Older heads will remember the day Docherty came back to Old Trafford with his new Derby team and later when Fergie’s United used to play Ron Atkinson’s sides — the latter often doing very well indeed to particularly aggravating lengths at Wembley in 1991 and 1994.

I’ll be glad when it’s over. I fear we’re in for a harder night than Moyes’ Everton usually gave us, anyway.