United as reliant on Rooney as Spurs were on ‘Elvis’

“We’ve sold Elvis and bought the Beatles!” crowed at least more than one former Tottenham player shortly after a transfer deadline that saw Gareth Bale finally depart for Real Madrid and the last chunk of £106 million worth of new talent check in at White Hart Lane.

Sadly for Spurs, the revamped supergroup has been more Wings than the Fab Four so far, with too many of the new faces taking on the Linda McCartney role rather than Paul’s, offering weak backing vocals or shaky tambourine rather than outstanding moments of merit.

The fact that ‘Elvis’, having left the building, is enjoying himself so much in his new home hasn’t helped either, with Bale posting on his Instagram account minutes before kick-off a picture of the match ball he claimed on Saturday night after putting it in Real Valladolid’s net three times.