Even Jimmy couldn’t fix this one

The big surprise was the lack of changes.

George Hamilton kept his place.

As tradition had it, George’s role was to steer Ireland safely through the early part of a tournament until Jimmy Magee took over to usher us to the exit. This time round, after George had talked us through disaster, you felt a tactical switch might have had the opposite effect.

But perhaps, with Jimmy at home for the first time in many a century, the options, like James McClean, were deemed unready, especially after Ger Canning’s worries about the Dutch “full-back line” the night before.

Will his assimilation in the ways of ground football ever be complete?

So George it was, starting the night by making doubly sure we knew how dire the situation was. “Ireland on the brink of three successive, consecutive defeats.”

An intrusive microphone at the toss would have embarrassed the bashful Duffer even more than he looked.

“We’ll stay where we are,” he offered when the Turkish coin fell our way. You hoped he didn’t mean the movement would be much like we saw against Croatia and Spain.

Before long, George was addressing the topic du jour. “There was a bit of reluctance to get singing from the Irish before the game.” Sure enough The Fields was parked during the first-half, but the first Oles soon rumbled. Was it singing or keening?

We did, at least, safely negotiate the 3 sponsorship hoodoo this time, a landmark Ronnie Whelan was happy to acknowledge. “Only four and a half minutes gone and this is the best endeavour Ireland have shown in all the games up to now”

Over on BBC3, Mick McCarthy gallantly ignored the choice Roy Keane chant that was now rumbling around the stadium, but made no bones about his own loyalties. “The Irish fans have come here wanting to see their team win ... to see our team win.”

A John O’Shea elbow drew Italian blood. Mick, proud holder of a World Cup fouling record, was unimpressed. “It happens, get over it.”

And all was progressing happily, uneventfully anyway, until George took charge.

“It has been better than the two performances against Croatia & Spain... and there’s the commentator’s curse, straight at Cassano.”

Danger there. 1-0.

Before the game, Giles had reached as deep as he could within himself in search of optimism and this is what he found. “I think Italy will win, but it’s the way we lose.”

At half-time, he acknowledged some improvement in our approach to losing, but he was a long way from satisfaction. “Ward… straight to a bloomin’ blue shirt.” He did, at least, diagnose the source of our downfall. “It was looking good until it fell apart really.”

Back on the BBC, Steve Staunton was shaking his head. “It’s not good, really.” But you suspected he was thinking it was a hell of a lot better than that time in Cyprus.

Beside him, Alan Shearer noted that we weren’t shooting and wondering if that had anything to do with us not scoring. It was a theory alright, but he couldn’t be sure.

Eamon Dunphy had his own reservations about our attacking inquiries.

“We’re asking questions, but the answer is no…”

The answer remained ‘no’ through an untidy second-half, though both the inquiries and rebuttals grew increasingly impolite.

Eventually, a switch to Gdansk for Spain’s spared us the full extent of Keith Andrews’ Joey Barton impression. A nation’s frustration channelled.

“The end is as desperate as what preceded it,” said George, even before Balotelli wrapped it up.

“Fireworks in his bathroom and a firework in Poznan.”

It was a finish Ronnie Whelan would have been proud of. But Ronnie had grown increasingly irritated with the tactics and the substitutions and you suspected, if he had been on the pitch, he’d have been down the tunnel with Andrews by now.

“All the things we were good at right throughout qualification, we’ve failed at during this tournament.”

Back at base, Eamon Dunphy has been promising a review all tournament and now he was keen to get started.

“Four goals from set-pieces, It’s completely unacceptable. It needs a major, major review. Where do we go from here?”

In the end, the way we lost had lost Gilesy too. “I found it quite depressing.”

Even Liam Brady, Trapattoni’s loyal champion, was prepared to admit change may be needed.

“Perhaps he got fixed in his ways. This doctrine. Players aren’t good enough unless they play this way.”

Eamo was already throwing names out, trying to prove that modest resources didn’t need to mean modest football.

“Brendan Rogers at Swansea, Roberto Martinez. Paul Lambert.”

“This is stone-age, redundant and barren. And that’s the major cause of concern.”

In truth, George had called it right before we got started at all.

“This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. But this is the way it’s ending.”

Nothing had changed.