Cards on the table

THERE should be plenty reasons to keep our eyes glued to the pitch when Manchester City face Spurs tomorrow, not least because here are two classy sides who, on a good day, are well capable of paying more than lip service to the idea of football as the beautiful game.

With Manchester United and Arsenal also renewing old acquaintance, the ‘Super Sunday’ appellation could, for once, err on the side of understatement. But I suspect it will be the outcome of the game at the Etihad which will have the biggest bearing on the outcome of the league. City might have regressed into their shell somewhat in recent times, but even in the absence of a couple of regulars, they still ooze quality around the pitch. As for Spurs, never short of entertaining, they could really seize the moment to announce themselves as genuine title contenders.

Either way, with exciting talents like Silva, Modric, Bale, Van der Vaart and Lennon on show, there will be considerable disappointment if this one falls short of the status of certified cracker. Yet don’t be surprised if the cameras regularly tear themselves away from the action to give us a close-up view of the home dug-out. At the merest hint of a dodgy tackle, handball or professional foul – on the part of the visitors, of course — expect the director to order up a shot of Roberto Mancini, just to see what the Man City boss is doing with his hands.

Recently, the Italian has been roundly criticised for waving imaginary cards in a bid to get opposition players sent off, incurring the wrath of a diverse bunch including Steven Gerrard, Robbie Savage, Roberto Martinez, Mick McCarthy and his counterpart tomorrow Harry Redknapp.

In fairness, Redknapp was only giving a straight answer to a straight question about the matter at a pre-match press conference yesterday when he said: “I don’t like it. I wouldn’t do it. I don’t like to see it. I don’t think there is any need for it. He has done a great job there and when I have met him I have found him a really good guy.

“We all do things we shouldn’t do at times. We get caught up in the game but it’s not something I like to see.”

Perhaps surprisingly, given that he is frequently caricatured as the type of old school English gaffer who would have little truck with Johnny Foreigner and his alien ways, Redknapp steered clear of making any reference to Mancini’s background in the Italian game, a temptation which, sadly, proved too great for Mick McCarthy who spoke of “cultural difference” and reminded the City boss that “he is in this country now”.

In truth, whether or not imaginary card-waving – like diving, that other more subtle form of simulation – was imported into the English game is neither here nor there, precisely because it is now here and there.

Mancini described his behaviour this week as “normal” which is hardly ajustification since all-in wrestling in the penalty box at corners is also “normal” and, in my opinion, a much bigger blight on the game than the spectacle of someone, whether on the pitch or on the touchline, playing at being the referee’s assistant. Indeed, play-acting seems an altogether more fitting description of the habit which, as crimes against football go, is rather more silly than sinister. Yes, I’d be perfectly happy never to see an imaginary card waved again but I’d only be inclined to lose sleep over the matter if I thought that referees could possibly be influenced in their decision-making by the actions of outraged mime artists. And they couldn’t be, could they? After all, if that was the case, then refs at Old Trafford would always set their watches to Fergie time. And they don’t do that, do they? Otherwise, Stevie and Mick and Roberto and ‘Arry and all the rest of them would forever be damning Sir for tapping the back of his wrist, and declaring that there ought to be no place in the English game for such a vile Scottish practice.

Still, the cat is out of the bag, all eyes will be on Mr Mancini tomorrow to see if he has enough self-control to prevent his fingers from doing the talking again. Or, failing that, if he has the ingenuity to come up with a plausible explanation when the FA call him in for a tete a tete. “No, sir, I was not waving an imaginary red card, I was trying to run my fingers through my luxurious hair and I somehow – how you say? — missed the target.”

Of course, there is another, rather more straightforward way for referees to put a stop to imaginary card-waving. I mean, if someone wants to see a card that badly then, y’now, why not just give them one? And, since we’re on the subject of irritating simulation, here’s a handy tip for all those who, like me, find that mime artists on the street can all too often bring busking into disrepute. Just mime putting money in their hat.

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