United pummel hospitable hosts

AFTER the tumult and controversy in the Premier League over the last 48 hours, this victory was exactly what Manchester United would have wanted: simple and utterly comprehensive.

No reason for the FA or the Crown Prosecution Service to get involved, except to locate the presumably kidnapped Fulham defence. Instead, three points accrued in the most simple fashion for Alex Ferguson’s side.

The only down side for United was an injury to Phil Jones — feared to be a broken cheekbone — but Ferguson was loathe to dwell on it.

“The performance in the first half was as good as we have played all season in fairness,” he said.

“We’ve got a couple of injuries. Phil Jones got an elbow to the jaw and we’ll send him for an X-ray tomorrow. It doesn’t look good. Rio will be back for the Blackburn game on New Year’s Eve, Phil is a concern and Ashley is out for two or three weeks.”

The game was up by half-time as Fulham ensured their hosts were treated in the most hospitable fashion. Certainly, it appeared that tackling had been outlawed — as, indeed, had any form of the most basic of defending.

United, who knew they had to keep up the pace on Manchester City, were hardly going to pass up such inviting gifts. Danny Welbeck, Nani and Ryan Giggs — maintaining his record of scoring in every Premier League season — were the first-half beneficiaries, but it could have been double figures by the interval.

Even Patrice Evra, the man at the heart of the Luis Suarez affair, was able to enjoy an evening out of the spotlight, for once, while Wayne Rooney and Dimitar Berbatov added late gloss with two fine goals.

As for Fulham, their current malaise is worrying. Martin Jol promised exciting, attacking football when he arrived but so far only alienating the club’s main striker, Bobby Zamora, and break-up the bedrock of their recent success in the central defensive partnership of Aaron Hughes and Brede Hangeland.

Hopes had been raised after Saturday’s 2-0 win over Bolton, but perhaps that was a false dawn. Certainly it felt so as the visitors eased into an early lead. Nani ran unchallenged past Bryan Ruiz and Chris Baird before crossing for the unmarked Welbeck, who made no mistake from six yards. It was a shockingly poor goal to concede so early in the game, and immediately put the hosts on the back foot. The malaise continued; passes went astray, the crowd became frustrated, and accusing glances went between team-mates. Jones denied Bryan Ruiz with a fine tackle, but it appeared United could score at will as Fulham simply stood off their opponents. It was a matter of time before the second arrived, and it came after 28 minutes.

Again, the defending was shocking, as Giggs played a short-corner to Valencia, received the return pass and curled a delicious cross for the unmarked Nani to head home. If Jol possessed any hair, he would surely have torn the remainder of it from his scalp at the basic inadequacy of his team’s inability to mark their men.

It could have been worse as Mark Halsey failed to give the visitors a penalty when Philippe Senderos bundled Welbeck over in the box, but it appeared to matter little as United were in cruise control.

And the third goal that United fully deserved arrived three minutes before the break — and although this was more fortunate, it was simplicity itself as Valencia’s cross was fired home by Giggs thanks to a large deflection off Senderos.

The goal ensured Giggs maintained his record of scoring in every Premier League season and was the 19,999th in the league’s history — with the 9,999th scored by his old mate Paul Scholes. Somehow, it felt apt.

As for the second-half — well, for 40 minutes it may as well not have taken place, until Rooney smashed home from 30 yards and Berbatov cheekily backheeled a late fifth.

Ultimately, it was remarkably easy — just as Ferguson would have wanted.

FULHAM: Stockdale 7, Riise 5, Hangeland 5, Senderos 4, Baird 4 (Kelly, 75; 5), Dembele 5, Etuhu 5, Murphy 4, Dempsey 5 (Zamora, 85; 5), Ruiz 4, Johnson 4.

MANCHESTER UNITED: Lindegaard 7, Evra 7, Evans 7, Jones 7(Young, 20; 7; Park, 59; 7), Smalling 8, Nani 8, Carrick 8, Giggs 9, Valencia 8, Welbeck 8 (Berbatov, 77; 7), Rooney 8.

Referee: Mark Halsey.